Loving yourself and accepting your personality traits, flaws, and identity are probably the most complex yet most important things. It is easy to say ‘Love Yourself,’ but it seems that the realization is pretty challenging.
Let’s start with the facts: loving yourself is an inside job. Many people find it difficult to accept reality, and they trick themselves that they will start feeling better after they get something. Namely, many people tend to set goals and promise to begin loving themselves after they accomplish that. For example: ‘When I get the better job position/ bigger salary/ the ideal weight/ buy car I’ll love myself.‘ That is just an illusion. Self-love is about the feeling of confidence. You cannot feel trust and pride if you feel dissatisfied and doubt yourself and your abilities. Loving yourself means enjoying the good times, but life sometimes gets tricky, so believing that you can handle it is equally important.
Achieving self-love and self-respect might be difficult due to the unrealistic expectations and uncertainties that you are not good enough. The process of loving yourself should start with changes: stop with the harsh inner critic and self-mutilation.
Feeling good in your own skin and enjoying your own company should be your top priority. Don’t forget that your relationship with yourself is the longest and most important you will ever have. Therefore, start focusing on yourself. In today’s blog post, you can read about practicing self-love. All you need is a little practice and patience to start caring for yourself and treating yourself as you deserve.
You are the most important person in the universe.
The only lesson you need to remember: you are the most important person in this universe. Everything depends on you: your thoughts, emotions, how you feel, how you interpret events, relationships, actions, and words. Your reality depends on the relationship you have with yourself. Your happiness depends on how much you love yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself, you will become confused, angry, and frustrated. Therefore, you need to focus on your well-being and shape your own life.
Self-love starts with giving yourself the love and respect you deserve. How to do that?
Let’s take a step back: how do you treat people you love? Are you kind and patient with them? Listen to their opinions and ideas? Do you forgive them when they make a mistake? Do you give them the space they need? Now, do you treat yourself the same way? Do you take care of your mind and body? Do you satisfy your needs?
If the answers to these questions are no, you need to change things and start by focusing on nourishing yourself.
Loving yourself starts with your daily habits.
Taking care of your body is the primary form of self-love. Give your body what it loves, and pay attention to what you put in your body. Sleep, eat and exercise.
The way you treat your body reflects on how you feel. If you feel happy and satisfied, it means the process of loving yourself has started. Start with a good night’s sleep. You can create a ritual before bedtime:
- Use specific skincare products: cleanser, toner, serum, and moisturizer;
- Massage your face and feet with essential oil;
- Put on silky pajamas;
- Read an exciting book;
- Get at least 8 hours of good night’s sleep.
After you wake up, start your day with a green smoothie and treat yourself with a chocolate snack;
Start exercising regularly: you can go to the gym, pilates, or start visiting a yoga class.
Ask your manager for a better job position, or you can even quit if your job makes you feel unhappy and stressed. Don’t hesitate to spend money on clothes you dream about.
Meditation is another excellent way to focus on yourself and things you like. Understand your spirituality and give yourself the space you need. Be thankful for what you have and improve all the things you don’t like. Avoid toxic people and everything that makes you anxious. Focus on positive thinking and put the negative energy aside.
Loving yourself is not a simple process: it requires a series of actions and changing habits, thus improving your everyday life.
Get to know yourself through VITALS.
The process of self-love cannot be successful if you refuse to face your demons. Having control and getting to know yourself will help you to accept who you are. You can quickly lose control when you feel that things aren’t as good as you would like to.
This technique will help you understand the building blocks of yourself.
- V = Values
What are your values? “Helping others” or “being creative.” We all have lots of values we are not aware of. Write down ten important values that describe you.
- I=Interests
What are your interests? Pay attention to details and think about what makes you curious and concerned.
- T= Temperament
What is your temperament: do you prefer to make a plan or be spontaneous? How do you make decisions: considering facts of your emotions? Do you pay attention to details or big deals?
- A= Around-the-Clock Activities
Are you a morning or evening person? What time of day do you feel most energized?
- L = Life Mission and Meaningful Goals
What is the purpose of your life? What events are most important to you? Who or what is your motivation?
- S= Strengths
What are your most vital skills? Do you have talents? How would you describe your character?
Start a gratitude journal or write a letter to yourself
Did you know that just by writing down five things you are grateful for, you will activate your brain to think more positively? Treating yourself is super important for practicing self-love because it will make you feel happy and satisfied.
You will start the process of loving yourself once you get a positive attitude and start being grateful for everything you have. Buy a notebook and start writing. It is up to you to create the gratitude practice: write down at least three things you are grateful for. Even if it doesn’t feel effective initially, your relationship with yourself will become an amazingly loving place over time.
Another option is to write a loving letter. Don’t be cold and cruel to yourself:
- Write this letter with love and appreciation.
- Open your soul and write about all the good things that make you happy.
- Write about the people you love, admire, and inspire you.
- Don’t forget to write about your dreams, motivations, hopes, and wishes for the future.
- Write the sad moments and things you’re struggling with.
- Express all of your emotions.
- Last but not least, acknowledge your achievements and be proud of yourself.
You can write about everything you feel without fear of being judged or ridiculed by some other person. This is a letter written by you for you.
Shower yourself in feel-good vibes.
People have the power to generate feelings and experience what they want in life. No matter what are the circumstances, you can feel good. Think about past times when you felt happiness, joy, and peace. Think about what you need and what you want. You can accomplish anything if you focus on positive thoughts. Write down few positive quotes and stick them on your bathroom mirror. Start your day with some positive energy and soak those feel-good vibes.
Do things you like.
You will never truly start loving yourself if you constantly do things that don’t bring you joy and satisfaction. If you feel stressed all the time and you feel pressure to do something, then stop doing that. Making changes is one of the steps in the self-love process.
Take yourself out on a date.
Have you ever been on a date with yourself? Well, make a schedule for this weekend and don’t miss it! Solo-dating is an excellent opportunity to spend some quality time with yourself. You can do whatever you want, go whenever you want and have fun! Do something unique and practice self-love. Whether you go on a spa weekend or go shopping, choose an activity that you usually do with someone else and go alone.
Express yourself.
Having a hobby that will help you express yourself is a fantastic way to start loving yourself. We all have hidden talents and favorite activities: dancing, singing, cooking, painting, acting; there are many possibilities.
If you cannot decide what to do or don’t have inspiration, think about younger you. What was your favorite activity when you were a child?
Accept the pain.
All people make mistakes, and no one is perfect. While the constant accusation is not healthy, neither the endless positivity is. Being optimistic about everything is a giant lie. Ignoring the facts and believing in lies is not going to bring you happiness. We all have a dark side, and that is okay. You should not feel bad about that. It would be enough to accept that you are just a human with imperfections and flaws. Forgive yourself your mistakes, and don’t be ashamed of what you have done. Past stays in the past, and there is no need to put energy into that.
Negative emotions are acceptable, as well. Jealousy, hate and, rage are not good for you, but learn to embrace all of your feelings.
Find and open your heart.
Accepting your flaws is one thing, but loving yourself and everything about you is the highest level of self-love. Trace your behavior from childhood to the person you are right now. Discover all negative emotions and your regrets. Face the fact that those things have happened in the past, and they created your character. Don’t be ashamed of your past, and start understanding that everything happens for a reason. Repressing the emotions and the feelings of anger will block the positive things.
It’s time to get out of your comfort zone, step-by-step.
When you are in your comfort zone, you behave predictably and accept things as they are. You cannot start the process of loving yourself while you are in your comfort zone.
Self-love requires changes, but not necessarily something drastic. Take little steps and make progress. It might seem small, but if you do something relatively new, it means you are changing things.
Once you realize how powerful self-care is, you will start believing in your strength and achieving anything you want.
Surround yourself with people who make you feel good.
People who we spend most of our time with have a significant influence on our life. If your friends are toxic and unsupportive, find some new ones. If your family constantly gives you headaches, avoid spending time with them.
Spend time with people who admire you and support you. Positive energy will make you feel better and start loving yourself.
