(7 Minute Read)
I got this question a few months ago and it has come up a few times now so I figured that I would address it and give you my take on how men view “sexy lingerie” nowadays.
Lets preface this by saying that I’m not talking about when my girl is walking around the house in those underwear that she knows makes her booty look perfect.
I speak for all men when I say “Keep that energy!”
What I’m talking about is when ladies actively go out and buy an expensive set of lingerie in hopes that it’s going to make their man go wild.
Way back when…
When I was growing up in the 90’s and early 2000’s I remember that I thought sexy lingerie was the best thing ever.
In fact, when I was young, my mom would cover my eyes if there was a woman on tv in sexy lingerie (As I’m sure most moms did back then).
Her doing that made me like it even more because sexy lingerie was such a taboo and risque thing for women to wear back then.
I also remember seeing old movies where a woman would be in her bathrobe and all the men around her would be hot and bothered by it for some reason (I never really understood why).
One scene that stands out is in Rush Hour 2 (2001) when Carter (Chris Tucker) and Lee (Jackie Chan) are on top of a building spying on an attractive female CIA agent, when all of a sudden she starts to undress.
They immediately melt and begin fighting over the binoculars because they find her to be so sexy now that she is half naked and in matching lingerie.
I also remember watching movies and listening to a guy ask a girl “What she was wearing” over the phone and getting excited when the girl described the color of underwear she was wearing.
I get it because back then you actually had to use your imagination to guess what a woman looked like underneath.
Now you can simply log onto instagram and check out the bikini pics from her last vacation.
Or my favorite was when I would hear comedians talk about how they wouldn’t find a girl attractive if she wasn’t wearing matching underwear and bras at all times.
Which is hilarious to think about because although that was such a huge sign of attraction back then, today it’s literally nothing.
But of course when I was an 11 year old prepubescent boy, women in lingerie were my jam!
I also remember tuning into “The Man Show” starring Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Corolla every night, just so that I could gander in awe as the Juggies served men beer in their lingerie.
I thought that it was the pinnacle of manhood and the closest thing to heaven on earth that I could ever come across.
I couldn’t wait to be a grown man so that i could drink beer and watch football all day while supermodels fulfilled my every demand in their lingerie.
But let’s be real…
That was almost 20 years ago and the world has changed A LOT!
‘Sexy Lingerie” is viewed in a completely different light and does not have NEARLY as much pull as it once had.
Ladies…
Here are my top reasons why most men don’t really care if you buy sexy, expensive lingerie anymore.
1.Social Media Killed lingerie
Seriously… Gone are the days of it being a rarity to see a half naked woman in front of you.
Between Tiktok, Instagram, and Snapchat, we see more women with traditionally perfect bodies in lingerie within a 5 minute span than you used to see in a month.
And that’s not even an exaggeration.
If you think I’m joking, go on your instagram right now, set your timer for 60 seconds, and start scrolling… You will lose count of the number of asses you come across.
It’s wild.
On top of that, getting nudes on snapchat is easier than tying your shoe laces at this point.
I purposely don’t follow many “instagram models” because It’s gotten to the point where I find it super unattractive when that’s all someone is about.
Most of the females I follow are either friends, family, business associates, or clients.
2. There is free adult entertainment everywhere.
This one is a no brainer.
If social media killed sexy lingerie, then porn buried it so deep into the earth that no one will find its remains for the next 10,000 years.
When you can open your browser and have access to an unlimited amount of people fulfilling your wildest fetishes for free, how would it even be possible to be turned on by a $200 lingerie set from Vickies Secret?
I would probably question Ashley’s sanity if she spent money on expensive lingerie.
It’s like white noise at this point because of the stimulation that we all have immediate access to.
3. We know what you look like naked… We’ve seen it a billion times.
I have to say this because most men will never say it because it’s kind of mean.
But in reality that’s what we’re thinking a lot of times.
And although we play along with it, unless you plan to do something crazy and out of the ordinary this time around, then that lingerie is probably not going to make us any more or less attracted to you.
Again, it used to be a luxury to see a girl in front of you naked.
Now, all you need to have is a Netflix login.
So the point is…
We love you and find you sexy regardless of what you are wearing.
You don’t need to spend $200-$300 on underwear in hopes that it will ignite some type of dormant flame.
If you’re doing it for yourself then that’s awesome and keep that energy.
But at the end of the day, if your man finds you attractive, then he is going to want you.
If he finds you to be boring then a downgrade from being naked probably isn’t going to fix the issue.
So what are a few ways to turn a man on?
1. Ask him what are the top 3 things he would do with you sexually if you would let him.
Some men like it vanilla and the wildest they will ever get is pure silence while doing missionary every other Tuesday with the lights off.
Some men like it wild and are down for whatever.
Regardless of his preferences, the important thing is to communicate with him.
Just like women, a lot of men are oftentimes embarrassed to express their sexual desires.
I’ve been in relationships where I did not want to bring up something that I wanted to try sexually because I knew it would start a fight.
Or that it might offend her and make her feel like I wasn’t interested in her.
Which was not the case at all.
And most of the men I talk to say the same thing about their relationship.
They simply don’t feel comfortable expressing what they like especially when it’s far more out there than what their mate is comfortable with.
2.After you find out what he likes surprise him once every few months (or whatever cadence you agree on) with that preference.
Kanye said it best when he said:
“Ya’ll been together ten years, you deserve a minaj
‘Specially if you put that BMW in the garage”
Not saying you need to take this literally, but you get the picture.
If you’re trying to keep it sexy, there is a good chance that he wants to do something that he has brought up before and that you shut down.
Give it a shot.
3. Watch some dirty movies with him…
If you’re not dating a square, then he might be into it.
Especially if you’re not quite ready to try what he asked for.
This is a great way to show him that you want to please him, just need to get a little more comfortable before trying anything too crazy.
Watching some adult movies together may spark some new interests in you too.
4.If you’re not usually the aggressor, try it out… you might like it and so might he.
Initiate your intimate times every now and then.
It helps his confidence even if he’s the most confident man on the planet.
Something that a lot of women don’t understand is that while women need to feel wanted, most men want to feel needed.
There is a fine line and it has a lot to do with his natural instinct to protect you.
There is something primitive inside of him that makes him want to feel like he is the only man that can satisfy you and that you are his ride or die.
So play on that every now and then if you want him to be attracted to you.
Again, I must reiterate for the gender role audience that this does not apply to every situation.
Do things that are respectful within the confines of your own experience and comfortability.
5. Make some noise in bed.
Whether it’s talking dirty or faking it, please don’t be silent.
It just shows that you’re into what’s going on.
I mean have you ever tried to watch porn with no sound on? Yikes!
At the end of the day…
Do whats best for your relationship and keep an open mind.
You may have a man that absolutely loves sexy lingerie.
But for the most part, I don’t think I know a man under the age of 35 that really cares about sexy lingerie.
Again communication is everything.
If you’re really with a man that you know, love, and trust then don’t hesitate to be open and adventurous with him.
Just remember that your views on intimacy and his views may be different.
So the more you talk to each other the more you will be willing to explore and try new things with him which Is a great way to keep him checked in sexually.
