People in long-distance relationships tend to ask themselves: ‘Can this long-distance relationship work’? Unfortunately, family and friends are not supportive and discourage those in long-distance relationships: ‘Don’t take it too seriously, your heart may get broken.’ They, however, are not far from the truth as the extra distance complicates things and makes them a bit unachievable, so keep in mind that it will be pretty challenging.
However, don’t let the challenges discourage you. Both of you will have to adjust to your attitude and lifestyle, but love is worth it. Commitment and communication are crucial for long-distance relationships, but you can have a stable relationship and a close bond if you have found your perfect match.
Now when you finally found a partner who is your soulmate, miles, and miles of distance can be an obstacle. Are you delighted being together? Is that person worth holding onto? Take a look at our pieces of advice, and don’t let distance separate you. At the end of the day, love is all that matters.
Before we even start giving you advice about finding a way to work it out, it is essential to remind you that challenges and difficulties are opposite to those in geographically close relationships. There will be many ups and downs no matter how much you love your partner who is far away from you. In fact, there will be even more challenges than in a ‘regular relationship.’
Let’s take a look at the challenges you probably will face at some point in your relationship:
- Financial difficulties: money is an obvious problem. When it comes to long-distance relationships, traveling is the only way for physical contact. The Internet makes things easier, but sooner or later, you will have to meet. If you are experiencing financial problems, meeting your partner can be huge trouble.
- Extreme emotions: love, jealousy, excitement, and even anger tend to be more powerful when you and your partner are far away from each other.
- Setting boundaries: besides your intimate partner, you also interact with other people: family, friends, and colleagues at work. When you are in a long-distance relationship, it is crucial to define the boundaries for relations with others, especially those you are not close friends with and are from the opposite sex.
There are two types of long-distance relationships: partners whose relationships start at a distance (they meet online and fall in love) and partners who adapt to change if one partner has to move for studies, work, or military service. Regardless you belong to the first or second group of people, once your ‘regular’ relationship becomes a long-distance relationship – it is time to make changes!
Generally speaking, each relationship is based on love and trust. But, when someone is in a long-distance relationship, having excellent communication is the first step to make the relationship work. Communicate openly about everything: ordinary things, big decisions, and especially emotions. It would help if you made it clear what are your needs and expectations of the relationship. Keeping your promises about anything and maintaining your commitments will make your partner feel secure. If you scheduled a phone call before bedtime, make sure to call your partner. The promise is not something optional or “only when you have time.”
Let’s start with details about how to make your long-distance relationship work:
Communicate as much (or as little) as you need to feel connected.
Today, unlike in past time, people can communicate whenever they want and how long they want. Access to one another is as easy as few clicks on your phone. For partners in long-distance relationships, the connection is easier than ever. But is your time unlimited? Both partners have their imaginations about how much they want to talk to each other and how often. Your relationship will function properly if you and your partner are on the same page about video calls and text messages. Some partners want to text constantly and use every free minute to write a text message. For others, talking few times a week is enough. Others want to talk through video calls in the morning. Some want to speak before bedtime and tell their partner each detail about how their day went. Some individuals, however, are somewhere in between. It is evident that different people want different types and amounts of communication.
Finding the right amount of communication will set the boundaries about how much talk is enough. Open discussion about this vital topic will spare you from possible arguments and misunderstandings. Tell your partner how you feel about texting, calling your partner, and video chatting. The right amount of communication may vary, so this deal is not final; you can modify it according to your needs and demands. Don’t forget that distance is complex, and you don’t want to frighten your partner with your possessiveness. For successful long-distance relationships, you need to harmonize your preferences and make compromises. Besides setting the amount of time, speaking with your partner far away from you, and scheduling time to hang out together is also essential.
Do things together.
You and your partner are in different parts of the world, but you are still in a relationship, and doing things together while you are apart is of great importance. Whether you are in a different city, state, or continent, doing something with your partner will keep the feeling that you are in a relationship.
The technology makes it is easier to connect and find activities for couples that you can do even when you are far away. There are many options: watching a documentary on YouTube, quiz games such as Buzzfeed, play UNO online, or watch a movie on online streaming platforms like Netflix and HBOGO. The Internet enables you to sync your TV and movie streaming to watch the same film at the same time. Isn’t that amazing? You will get the feeling that you are watching it together. You can discuss the quiz answers or the movie, which is a great way to keep your conversations fresh. If you are a book lover, choose a book, set a timeline, and then discuss it. A fitness challenge is an excellent idea for those who want to exercise: set your goal, time for workout, and choose a fitness program. Online shopping is another great way to buy gifts for some occasion, despite the distance. It is not important who wins or the movie/ book you chose; doing the activities together will help you connect to your partner.
However, don’t rely solely on technology. Your partner needs your love and affection, and in times when you can’t hug them, do something romantic to make them feel you think about them. Write him a letter and put all your emotions on paper, he will appreciate that; order a bouquet of flowers and arrange delivery at her address, she will be thrilled.
Be Confident in Your Relationship.
Insecurity can lead to distrust, and in time you or your partner may start feeling jealousy. Excessive calls not for “checking in” but for “checking up on” will lead to unnecessary tension. Long-distance relationships are challenging, so you don’t need another thing to make this more challenging. When insecurity takes over the communication, one partner may feel anxious, while the other will be turned off. Don’t let that destroy your relationship, and remind your partner frequently what you love about your relationship. Next time you talk to your partner, express your emotions. Remind him/ her why you are together, talk about love and appreciation.
Sex life is most affected by distance, and sexual tension is one of the most important things between intimate partners. The desire is the magic that keeps you from drifting apart. Sex is both a biological need and an emotion, and you should make sure that everything is okay in that field. Talk dirty, write sexy text messages, and send nudes with provocative descriptions if you are brave enough.
Set Clear Rules and Boundaries.
Let your partner know what makes you feel uncomfortable or threatened. Tell them the reason for setting the rules that work for both of you. That will spare you from unnecessary fights and tension. Don’t do anything that might annoy your partner and before you even do something, think about whether you want to be in your partner’s position? The right amount of communication is just one of many aspects, and you should tell what you want and expect from your partner.
Even though you are in a relationship, you are an individual, and all of us need time alone. Being in a long-distance relationship doesn’t mean you should become a slave and have zero social interactions with friends and family. Therefore, support your partner to keep up a normal life without being on the phone all the time. Also, if you or your partner are tired or not in the mood to talk, or if you agree not to talk while you are at work, respect that and stay back. While establishing the boundaries can be difficult, it will be much easier once you define certain things.
Visit Each Other Regularly
Long-distance relationships face many problems: arguments, losing feelings, developing feelings for another person, but if you and your partner have understanding and trust each other, you can work it out. Love and communication can do wonders. However, romantic relationships are about intimacy, and at some point, you want to be physically close to your partner. Hug, kiss, cuddle, sex require touch, a physical contact. In long-distance relationships, the only time partners have physical contact when they visit each other. Therefore, try to visit each other as often as possible. For some couples, the budget is a huge obstacle, but make sure to see your partner at every opportunity. You can make a plan for your future visit, find creative ways to travel cheaply, and start saving money.
Regular visiting schedule is of great importance, as often as your jobs allow that. You can save time by making a plan about where to meet at the airport or train station. Don’t pack too many bags that will slow you down – one bag with basics is enough.
Take time to travel together.
You don’t have to visit your partner in his town. Vacations across the world are much more fun, and you will have more memories together. Paris, Thailand, or India? Sounds fun, right?
Set An End Date
Long-distance relationships can be strenuous if the time apart stretches to infinity. When the time apart is defined, and you know the date when you will finally be together, the long-distance relationship seems easier and bearable. On the other hand, things get tricky if you are in a relationship, but you don’t know when you will live together, or at least be in the same town. Being apart is hard, so you need to be committed to your partner and set an end date. Whether it is school, work, or realization of own plans, love needs to be nourished to last.
To summarize, there are few things that you should never do while you are in a long-distance relationship:
- Don’t compare your relationship with other people’s relationships, especially with those who have geographically close relationships;
- Never cheat: having sex or any other form of intimacy with another person is forbidden, even when the chances your partner to find out are equal to zero;
- Don’t let your relationship get boring;
- Not communicating enough and not giving enough time;
- The opposite mistake is giving too much time: you risk becoming the annoying partner nobody wants;
- Not taking responsibility when you are wrong – mistake is a mistake, and if you’re going to stay in a relationship, admit you are wrong.
In long-distance relationships, people miss the interactions: sleeping together, doing groceries, going out whenever you want. But, if you’re going to make your relationship work, you need to put in an effort. Make your partner feel secure, safe, and committed, and it will work. Your partner will appreciate it, and your love will become stronger than ever.
