So, you’ve recently gone through a breakup and you’re going through a lot of pain and a lot of struggling. Well, here is the number one step to attracting your ex back …use The Law of Attraction! I personally believe that if you loved once and loved deeply, you can love again.

Stronger and deeper the second time around.

The fact is that you can have a new relationship with your ex. It’s not for me or for anyone else to tell you who to love. Sometimes when two people have drifted apart and they’ve broken up, they can get back together with a new understanding, a new relationship, and a whole new outlook completely.

The relationship can be better than it ever was! It’s phenomenal, it’s exciting, it’s magnetic, and it is oh so powerful.

It takes time and effort to attract your ex back, but absolutely anyone can do it. You will need some guidance for this though, because you won’t always know what to do next.

Sometimes a relationship with an ex is worth having back, and other times it’s not the right choice.

What this post is designed to do is not only help you get back together, but shift your vibration enough that the new relationship will be lasting, strong, energetic, exciting, and compelling!

I’m going to give you a few easy steps, but then i’m going to give you the number one, most important step. So let’s start with this:

STOP BEING SO DESPERATE!

First things first… you have got to stop, and I mean absolutely stop TRYING. Stop calling, stop begging, stop drunk calling and texting, stop apologizing, stop posting subliminals, stop it all.

All of that is just pushing that relationship further and further away. It’s contrary to the Law of Attraction. It’s pushing you further away from what you want.

If you really think about it, when someone is desperate they are much less attractive than someone who is confident. Someone who is confident and knows what they want, someone that doesn’t need something from another person, someone that can be happy with themselves and doesn’t always need that make up sex…

That’s the kind of energy you want to have.

That’s how you will get your ex back.

Law of Attraction says that we attract what we are, not what we want, and so if you’re only operating out of what you want through your pain, you will manifest more pain. You’re not operating out of your joy, and more importantly, you’re telling this other person that you are desperate. Have you ever been attracted to a desperate person? Probably not.

When you are confident in who you are, what you want and how to get it, then that’s when all of your deepest desires will flow to you.

If being desperate was attractive, then all the homeless people standing at the side of the freeways would have dates and relationships beyond anything we can imagine, because many of them are operating out of desperation. That is not how the Law of Attraction works.

Desperation is just pain looking for a place to happen.

So you have to stop what you’re doing, and you have to start taking steps to develop your confidence. Confidence is one of the most attractive qualities a person can have and unless you are absolutely confident in your ability to attract that relationship back, then you will keep experiencing the same problem.

And if you’re a little confused right now about what I’m saying, then just do this: STOP IT! Stop being desperate.

That’s it, just stop all that nonsense right now and you will be well on your way to attracting what you want.

Now that you’ve stopped being quite so desperate, it’s time to start thinking about what you really want and what the Law of Attraction can do for you.

DETACH.

Detach at least for three to four weeks, and when I say detach I don’t mean “now and then”, I mean completely cut the vibrational energy that has become so negative that it is now sour. Cut off the energy that has become angry, that has become jealous, that has become needy, that has become controlling.

Detach in the same way a snake sheds its skin and leaves it behind.

You’re going to use this time to work on yourself. You’re going to use this time to begin raising your vibration. You’re going to use this time to put yourself back on a pedestal and begin loving yourself again, because you are worth loving. You are worth taking care of. You are worth spending time with, and that’s what you’re going to do over these next few weeks or months, however long you need.

You’re going to think about what you really want in a relationship and how that can be achieved. You’re going to look at your life in a new way, and it will be a positive one. You’re going to change how you surround yourself with people, and you’re going to change who you associate with. You will begin the process of stepping away from those people that have been dragging your energy down. You’re going to become more social and you’re going to take chances.

You’re going to look at old friends that you have lost touch with and re-establish contact with them. You’re going to start surrounding yourself with really positive people who are doing the kinds of things that you want to do. If you want to travel and see the world, then you’re going to start associating yourself with people that are also interested in travel and seeing the world. The Law of Attraction is going to be working for you, not against you.

Stop thinking about the outcome. The outcome will be exactly the way you visualize it. In other words, if you’re worried about the outcome, that’s what you’re emotionalizing and that’s what you will start attracting. So many times, we focus on the outcome over and above everything else, and this is a guaranteed way to bring it into your life. If you’re considering the “what if” and all those things that have not been resolved, then you’re doing yourself a huge disservice.

You don’t have to worry about if they are dating someone else, if they are falling in love with someone else, or if they are going to fall out of love with you completely.

Whatever it is, the more you get into a state of want, a state of need, a state of desperation, the more you are acting opposite to the Law of Attraction, the more you are going to attract that which is undesirable.

Do you think that you are going to attract a relationship back into your life when all you talk about is the person that left? Do you really think you’re going to attract that person back when all you do is go on and on about them from a negative place?

It’s never going to happen. You’re putting out negative vibrations and you will continue to attract what is negative.

Being attractive means being in a place of desiring, but not wanting. You can want something, but you can’t go around in a place of needing it and going out there and desiring it desperately.

You have to be detached, but you do have to want it a lot.

The difference is being in a place of desperation and being in a place – like the Law of Attraction tells us – that we are radiating that which we want.

We are radiating it in a positive way and not in a negative way, and being attractive is all about radiating good vibrations.

Intentionally do this for about a month. It’s helpful because it puts you back in control of your life. It says “I’m taking time off now. You broke up with me, now I’m taking time to reevaluate who I am outside of our relationship and raise my vibrations.”

That is positive thinking, which will bring about positive action that’ll make you more attractive and more magnetic. You will start to attract more positive people and you will have a better time with all of the stuff that’s going on in your life.

As we proceed, I think another thing that’s important is that you’re giving them space to miss you. Up until now, you’ve been together, you’ve been fighting, you’ve been arguing. Maybe the two of you been sleeping in separate rooms, or maybe you were sleeping in the same bed but you were no longer intimate.

You were still together physically but there was something missing, and it’s been long enough. It’s okay now to start giving that person space because you need to get your mojo back. You need to get your enthusiasm back in life and re-evaluate who you are now that the two of you aren’t together anymore.

If you’re giving them space and they start to miss you, that makes it a lot easier for the two of you to get back together, because you’re radiating the fact that this is a good person. This is someone I’d like to be around; this is someone I’d like to talk to.

This break up will allow them to start missing you again. The space is for you and the space is good for you.

I think more importantly, in this space time, this three to four weeks that you’re going to take off, I think it’s essential that you work on your vibrations so that when you do start communicating again, you can start fresh with a new relationship.

A new vibration, new feelings, new frequencies, and that makes all the difference in the world in bringing this person back to you, but not back to that old relationship.

When you get back together, it should be a whole new relationship – because now that person knows this is what I want. Now the two of you can start fresh.

Back to a new, loving and empowered relationship.

Once you start seeing each other, or talking to each other, or texting, I’d like you to use the mirror technique, but not too fast, let me explain what I mean.

Let’s say they text you at 9 00 a.m. You’ve got a whole day planned, you have a busy day ahead of you because during this three to four week period, you’ve lined up a lot of activities that keep you busy and focused on yourself, on your own happiness, and on your own joy. Your relationship with your friends and family have improved, and your are now a better version of yourself.

So on this day, they text you “Hey, hope you’ve been well. Just checking up on you. I miss you.” and you know what you are going to do?

Put your phone away. Turn it off. Ignore it. Text back later that evening. Why?

Because that sends a message to the Universe, “I’m not worried about anything.”

You see, it’s not about manipulating your ex, its the fact that you are no longer desperate for their attention, and you are showing yourself that by resisting having to communicate with them right away.

You’re not operating out of desperation. You’re operating from a place of empowerment. You will choose what you do in your life, and when you work on yourself, not only the other person is going to be attracted; you’re also going to enjoy yourself more because you’re in a happier state.

So what if they text you late at night saying they want to see you?

I know you want to be close, but remember, you simply can not be desperate.

Say something along the lines of, “Hey, I’ll text you in the morning. I’m really tired.” or “We can talk later.”

Don’t be afraid to mirror them. The more energy they give you, the more you can give them back, but just not too fast.

You got it!

BREAK STATE

Somewhere along the line the two of you have fought, you’ve had disagreements, you’ve had feelings of hurt, you’ve had emotional wounds that have been opened by each other, and so i’m going to ask you to break state.

Break state simply means to get out of a state by thinking about or doing something different. If a negative conversation begins, you stop it. You walk away from it. You hang up the phone say, “Look, I have to talk to you about this later.” You need to stop the conversation.

You break state.

Now you can do it by ending the conversation, or you can do it by changing what you’re talking about. You have to get in the habit of not allowing yourself to be sucked into old fights, old wounds, or old pains. Let it go at that break state and move forward.

MEDITATE

Your potential for higher vibrations are very, very strong early in the morning when you wake up, and in the evening before you go to sleep.

Meditation is very important because it allows you to regain the power that you have given away. Meditation is a time for you to just stop and be silent, and focus on your own thoughts. You can think about things that make you happy, or things that make you feel at ease, or things that make you feel powerful.

You can also meditate about your ex’s behavior. Sometimes people might talk about what they want to say in a fight, how they would say this or that, but then decide not to say anything at all.

This type of meditation helps us go over different scenarios of what we could do next time so that we can become better and more effective communicators. I’ll write a blog on that at a later time, but for now, just know that your inner chatter can be used to create a positive outcome in your relationships.

Try a morning meditation for 10 minutes.

Claim the first 10 minutes right now by writing it down. “I claim the first 10 minutes of my day!”

You’re going to focus on the wish fulfilled. You’re not going to focus on wanting.

You’re not going to focus on needing or hoping, you’re only going to focus on the wish fulfilled.

The wish fulfilled is not just the return of the relationship, because the relationship might have been crappy. It’s the enactment and the birthing of a new relationship. It’s the birthing of a new you. It’s the birthing of an actualization, because it doesn’t just happen.

You have to make it happen.

So, what does that relationship look like? Does it include a ring? Does it include a commitment? Does it include living together in a new house? Does it include moving to a different part of the world? Whatever it is that you want to create, describe it.

When the mind describes something you can add detail and specifics because your imagination is infinite. So, does it look like?

For 10 minutes, that’s what you’re visualizing in the morning and in the evening as you are going to bed. If you fall asleep doing it, that’s okay. It’s fine because that’ll seep into your subconscious mind.

Don’t visualize on want. Don’t visualize on need. Focus on a new relationship and what it looks like and what it feels like. Add a lot of the senses you know: sight, where you are at, notice the colors and sound, smell, engage your five senses.

As you do this, your vibrations are increasing and they will be sent out. Your energy field is re-calibrating to attract what you ‘re thinking about.

Thoughts are things, and they manifest in three different ways:

1. In word

2. In feeling

3. As an action

If you think about something, and it causes fear, if it’s a negative thought, then your vibration will be low. It might be at a negative number.

If you think about something, and you feel relief, and it’s positive energy, then your vibration is high.

If you think about something and you feel joy or excitement, then your vibration is high.

So, it’s very important to know that the vibration that you’re feeling is the indicator as to whether or not your thoughts are things of a high vibration.

At the end of 10 minutes, don’t move. Normally your mind will race, and you’ll think about how much time is left, you might think about what’s for breakfast, you’ll think about what you have to do later. This is normal, but let go of those thoughts. You’re going to shift into a different reality, and you’re going to let that new reality come forward.

GRATITUDE

In terms of attracting your ex back, a very wise person once said, “It’s not the love you give, which matters most. It’s the love you share.”

You can have a lot of gratitude for what you shared with your ex and if the two of you got back together again, it would be a new fresh start because now you’re just grateful for the love that you had with them, and not denying that things weren’t quite as perfect as they could have been at different times.

You should be grateful for the things that you learned in that relationship, good and bad.

It’s gratitude for what you have experienced, not just the longing for that person being back in your life again.

You’ll be able to give, receive, and share with that person from a much higher vibrational level, which means it’ll feel better for both of you.

The Law of Attraction is a very real thing and it’s one of the most natural laws in the entire universe. It is part of the Fundamental Forces of Nature, and it’s why planets stay in orbit around suns. It’s why our solar system and everything in it keeps perpetuating itself year after year. It’s also why certain atoms and particles always end up on the same side of a magnet.

So, you can think of your ex’s atoms and particles that make up their body always landing on the same side of the magnet as you.

It’s a little bit like a game of pool: You want to set up the Laws of Attraction so there’s as few obstacles in the path between you and the person as possible, strategically speaking.

You can’t use the Law of Attraction to force someone back into your life or make them interact with you, but you can use it to put yourself in the path of least resistance so that when they’re ready for you and when they are ready for the Law of Attraction to work on their behalf, it’s not going to be difficult for them.

You cannot force anyone into anything, but you can make it easier for them to compel themselves into the things they need and want to do.

You can still be grateful for your life because you’re not sitting around waiting, and you’re doing something about your situation instead of just letting it play out.

It’s the vibration that you’re sending out.

By being grateful for what you shared with your ex and having a new relationship in your future, it’s going to have two effects: One, your ex will pick up on this frequency. Two, it’ll help you manifest the relationship that you want.

You’re going to be able be very upbeat and positive about things instead of negative, and it’ll help attract everything else you desire in your life.

LET GO

The number one tip for attracting back your ex is to simply, let go. That’s it. Let go. If you will let go, then you allow energy to flow, but as long as you’re hanging on.. as long as you’re struggling, then energy can not flow. You will be attracting the opposite of what you desire.

Don’t even be subtle about it. Don’t play games, don’t do anything tricky to see if they’ll come back. If you’ve seen the movie, “The Secret”, it’s the idea of pretending you don’t want them anymore. This is very wrong! You have to genuinely let go.

Your ex will pick up on your vibrations, and you want this to be in a positive state so they can’t resist returning back to you, but if you are sending negative vibrations out through anger, resentment, guilt… your ex will pick up on this and it’ll be harder for you to get them back.

LET GO & TAKE ACTION

The right way to let go is not to dwell on the past, but to start focusing on the present and the future. Think about what you’re doing right now, where you’re going next week, next month, next year. Think about where you see yourself down the road, and what is this future like? Is it in line with what you’re doing now?

For example, if you’re still moping around, sitting on your couch every day, watching TV all the time and not getting out there to do the things that you want to do, then this is not going to be a future that your ex would want to come back into because you’re not living your life.

On the other hand, if you’re out there doing all of these positive things, traveling around to different places, having interesting experiences and you’re telling your friends about the things that you’ve been doing, then this is going to be a future that’s very attractive for your ex to come back into because you’re living your life and you’re happy.

You’ve got to let go and focus on your life and your journey. Make your life and your journey so strong, so beautiful, so compelling, that anybody and everyone would want to be a part of it.

Something that I noticed when I started really focusing on deliberately creating my reality and feeling good about myself, my ex’s and even people that I only dated for a short while, started contacting me out of nowhere. There were “I’m sorry” messages, “I miss you”, “how are you?”, the list goes on.

I definitely wasn’t trying to manifest an ex back, I was completely over them at this time, but it was funny to see how that worked. I ended up manifesting something way better than an ex, I manifested the husband of my dreams instead.

I was doing the work, creating the love life that I desired and the relationship I deserved.

When you do that, this person is going to be begging to be with you because you loved once, and then the vibration began to crumble.

You can love again even deeper and stronger the second time around.

Life is made up of a collection of moments, people, and relationships that are not actually ours to keep. The pain we encounter comes from the illusion that some moments can be held onto. Clinging to people and experiences that never belonged to us in the first place is what causes us to miss the beauty of our life in this moment.

Love and let go…love and let go…that’s the single most important thing we are meant to learn in this life.