Sex is so common topic, and yet, it is still taboo among many couples. Having sex is one of the essentials of each relationship. The benefits of having sex on a regular basis extend beyond the bedroom. As a matter of fact, sex is great for your heart health and also boosts immunity. Fun, right?
Experts agree that having an intimate connection is crucial for a healthy relationship. Along with love and respect, sex has an essential role in the life of both partners.
‘How can I please my partner in bed?’ is not that complex a question. In fact, having good, better, or excellent sex can be simple if you indulge in enjoyment. Having sex is a natural need that positively benefits the overall mental, physical, and emotional health.
A common problem in a long-term relationship is boredom and predictability. However, this should not be the case because more years mean you know your partner better and understand your partner’s likes and preferences. You know what your partner needs, is that a relaxing massage or dirty sex. In addition to that, everyday factors also impact a couple’s sex life: money, too much work and different shifts at work, chores, kids, etc. But, if you don’t want to lose your lover, you should never put sex in the last place. Marriage counselors and certified sex therapists explain that by prioritizing sex, you will feel happy and fulfilled.
The physical transformations of the human body are another factors that have an impact on sex life. Especially when we are talking about relationships that last many years: over time, partners face physical body changes, such as weight and skin changes; but also decrease the hormone levels and changes in neurological and circulatory functioning. All these factors have a significant influence on sexuality and desire.
If you are one of many people who face this issue, we have some good news for you: you can reconnect with your sensuality and have passionate sex with your partner. Bellow, you can read tips and tricks that will help you improve your sex life.
You can find various books and videos from experts who devoted their lives to answering the question: ‘How to have better sex’? It seems that having a fantastic sex life is simple: the first step in accelerating the sex life is to stop making sex the goal. So, what is the goal? The pleasure of both partners.
Namely, while having sex, many people focus solely on their partner’s pleasure and don’t pay attention to their own satisfaction. Sex is good if both partners enjoy it.
Get to know your own body, first and foremost.
Masturbate! Spending time with yourself and knowing what brings you pleasure is the first and most important step in improving your sex life. Discover your body, find out what turns you on, touch yourself, and enjoy. If you want to make things more fun for everyone, let your partner watch you. Touch yourself without being ashamed. Not knowing what you want in bed will confuse your partner, and sex drive will decrease over time.
By spending quality time masturbating, you will find out what you want. In that way, you can control your body, and by controlling your orgasm, your partner can give you better pleasure.
Curiosity is your best friend: explore your body, find the moves and sensitive spots. After you understand how your body works, what you want and need, you will have greater pleasure with your partner.
Mutual masturbation is another excellent way to see what your partner wants. Self-pleasure is a great indication of exactly what your partner enjoys.
Along with masturbation and exploring what brings you pleasure, accepting your body and feeling good about it is another important step in improving your sex life.
Statistics show that up to 80% of women in the United States have a negative body image. The reason for that is the way women look themselves in the mirror. Namely, when looking at the mirror, most women focus on the problematic areas, carrying that feeling in the bedroom. That reflects on the sex life because when their partner caresses their boobs, they focus on how they look and completely forget about having sex and enjoying it.
Like yourself naked: give yourself a reality check and accept how your body looks. If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, then change something. Don’t wait and start doing something: if you want to lose weight, change your eating habits; if you’re going to tone your muscles, you need to include physical activity in your daily routine: running, going to the gym, start a fitness or pilates program. However, remember that we are different, and women’s bodies have various shapes and sizes. Not all attractive women have a perfect body, but all attractive women feel confident in their skin.
Ask your partner what they like.
Good communication is the key to having good sex and improving your sex life. By talking and asking about desires, needs, and fantasies, you will get want you to want. Both you and your partner need to be open and be precise about what you like and dislike. Ask and learn. If you express your emotions and expectations, your partner will bring you the most pleasure possible. Therefore, you need to put shame and embarrassment on the side.
It is important to understand what your partner likes and dislikes. Open conversation about what excites you and makes you feel good is necessary to improve your sex life. It will help if you are honest. Also, keep in mind that this is a conversation about improving, so try not to judge or be critical to your partner.
People who are in long-lasting relationships can have an amazing experience if they talk about any possible differences.
Initiate Sex More Often
Are you the spouse who waits for the partner to initiate sex? If you want to have better sex with your partner, you should not expect your partner to be the one who initiates intimacy. Sex is not a responsibility, sex is romance, and you need to put an effort if you want to have a successful relationship and great sex life.
If you are wondering how to do that, here are some ideas:
- Show affection: some partners need to feel loved to have the desire for sex, so make sure to touch your partner more often. Hugging, holding hands, and casual kiss – as simple as that
- Make time for intimate acts: show your partner that their body attracts you. Foot massage is a great choice if you want to connect with your partner and show that you are ‘in the mood;.’
- Date nights: Whether you are together for a few months or 20 years in marriage, date nights will refresh your relationship. Dinner, cinema, bowling are just a few ideas to have fun and remember the good old times.
Sext your partner during the day.
Technology gives us endless opportunities, so use your phone to ignite passion. You can seduce your partner by sending sexy texts. Start the sex before you even meet and use the magic of peak sexuality. Share your fantasy, explain to your partner what you wear, describe in detail what you would do to them when you meet later. Indulge in a fantasy, and don’t be afraid to experiment; your partner will like that, for sure. Keep the conversation playful and make promises which you are ready to realize. Another idea is to send nude pictures to your partner – guys love that in particular!
Tip: make sure to change the notification settings to prevent curious coworkers from reading your conversation.
Lube makes everything go more smoothly.
The belief that lubrication is used only when there is a problem in the bedroom is wrong. Namely, many women assume that during sex, they need to get ‘wet’ no matter what and wrongly interpret the use of lubrication.
Many factors can have an impact on vaginal dryness, and often desire is not the reason for that. Therefore, there is no reason why you should avoid lubricating liquids and gels. Lube creates a barrier between skin and fingers or toys, so everything will be smoother and slippery.
Try out new sex toys.
Along with the use of lubes, explore the possibility of bringing sex toys in your bedroom. Visit the sex shop and choose something that will help you to explore different sensations.
Another myth is that sex toys are for perverts. But, have you ever saw sex toys? You would be surprised how many options are available: toys with different purposes, shapes, sizes, features, and materials they’re made from. Be creative and choose something that is not too weird for you.
Follow your fantasies.
“What’s your fantasy?” – everyone has one. Fantasies are the most honest and natural part of human sexuality. When it comes to improving your sex life, discovering your fantasies is an excellent step in having better sex. Not all fantasies can be realized in real life, but sometimes a role-play can be an excellent replacement. If you don’t feel comfortable talking about your fantasies, you can write them down. Regardless of whether you fantasize about some porn situation or see your partner in a specific costume, don’t be afraid to ask and tell.
Don’t forget that “sex” means way more than just penetration.
Sex is about mutual satisfaction, which means both partners should enjoy having it. The old question about who experiences more pleasure during sex is still a mystery. However, oral sex is an act that brings great pleasure to both partners. There is no hierarchy in sex, so penetration is not more important than oral sex or hand job.
In fact, your pleasure can be a turn-on for your partner. Take your time and enjoy having intercourse.
Try new positions
Kama Sutra! Don’t be fooled that this book is old-fashioned and useless. The Kama Sutra offers a wide variety of sex positions, along with helpful explanations and graphics to help your partner figure out what you need to do. You can ‘read’ the book together and decide which poses you would like to try.
Watching porn is a more sophisticated way to get inspiration. If this is too much for you, search for ‘fun sex positions,’ and you will get the needed inspiration.
Do Kegel exercises!
By exercising the pelvic floor muscles, you can improve your sexual fitness. It is believed that only women can do Kegels, but that is wrong. Both men and women can do these exercises and strengthen the pelvic floor. As a matter of fact, good body shape has a great impact on sex life, but by tightening these muscles, your sex life will become even better.
How to do the exercises:
- Try to stop urine in midstream or, in other words, tighten the muscle.
- Hold for 2-3 seconds and then release.
Repeat 10 times a day or any time you remember.
You can do these exercises whenever you are and whenever you want.
Don’t fixate on orgasm as the only goal.
Even though intense orgasms are great, finishing the sex with orgasm is not the only goal. Many partners feel pressure to perform the best they can because their goal is for their partner to experience orgasm. The satisfaction when the partner experiences an orgasm is great, but it doesn’t mean that you should act one. Instead of focusing on the orgasm, focus on the sex itself. Pressure is not your ally in sex.
Prioritize intimacy over sex
It might sound confusing to read that you should prioritize intimacy over sex, and the title says: How to have better sex with your partner. The goal is to want and have more sex, but you should not focus only on the act of having sex. Having sex should not be forced because, over time, it might cause anxiety about the performance. Therefore, don’t let sex become an overwhelming and even intimidating experience. Take a break and focus on other things that make you feel loved and relaxed. Hugging and kissing are excellent substitutes for sex and will help you build physical intimacy with your partner.
