Being in a relationship means loving and supporting your partner, through both the highs and the lows. The physical and emotional needs or wants of your partner have a significant impact on your relationship.
If you genuinely want to help a partner suffering from anxiety or depression, the relationship can ascend to a higher level. When the physical state of mind is impaired by anxiety or depression, both partners are at a test if they can get through this overwhelming situation.
No matter how much you love your partner, anxiety and depression are severe opponents and will test your commitment and persistence.
Start by addressing symptoms.
Anxiety is a normal reaction to stressful situations, and both psychological and physical changes can affect your partner’s mood and feelings. When facing a specific crisis, people have emotions: joy and excitement or stress and nervousness. It is entirely natural to experience ups and downs, but sometimes the apprehension is unbearable, and people fail to resist the pressure.
It is essential to highlight that anxiety and depression are not low moods. Sometimes people are stressed about an important job interview, and this type of stress manifests with sweaty palms, increased heart rate, or even feeling sick. However, once everything ends, the person feels relieved, and everything is back to normal. When it comes to anxiety and depressions, the mood doesn’t go away, and you should not neglect that: this is a severe condition that affects the physical and mental health of the individual.
People who fight anxiety and depression have their survival instinct turned off and have difficulty getting their feelings under control. Even the banalest things, such as taking a shower, might be challenging without any particular reason. And when we are talking about a relationship, the partner’s inability to deal with the emotions affects your life, as well.
The first step in addressing the symptoms is to open the cards and talk to your partner about how anxiety and depression affect your daily life and relationship.
Know the signs
If you notice that your partner is struggling with their emotions, the most important thing is to do something about it.
Answering questions is a good start! Find a relaxing place, a place in which your partner feels safe and comfortable. Then, start asking the following questions:
- How often did you feel tired out for no good reason?
- How often did you feel nervous?
- Do you feel so nervous that nothing could calm you down?
- How often did you feel hopeless?
- Do you feel worthless?
- Do you feel restless?
- Do you ever feel so nervous you could not sit still?
Even though these questions do not provide a diagnosis, if the common answer is YES and OFTEN, then it is highly likely that your partner is suffering from depression and/ or anxiety, however, only a health professional can give a diagnosis, so the next step is a doctor appointment.
Educate yourself about anxiety
After getting a diagnosis that your partner is suffering from depression and anxiety, it is essential to learn as much as you can about these types of disorders.
By researching different types of anxiety and depression, treatment and the importance of support, it would be easier to understand what your partner is going through.
Don’t minimize feelings.
According to licensed psychologists, even if the perspective of the person suffering from depression and anxiety is irrational, you should validate it.
When a person is suffering from depression and anxiety, he or she has fears and worries that seem real. Therefore, you should not minimize your partner’s feelings, and before you explain why such things are unreasonable, make sure to emphasize that you are aware of their feelings.
Depression and anxiety are conditions that don’t have an easy or fast solution, but help and support are effective ways to fight them. It is important to talk to your partner with empathy and understanding and never judge them.
Help your partner seek treatment — and participate when you can.
When someone is fighting depression and anxiety, besides the support of the partner, family, and friends, it is crucial to visit a health professional for therapy.
Take the first step and investigate therapists or offices in your city. If you know your partner well, you can also set up an appointment.
Break the ice: inform your partner that he or she has an appointment and participate. Once you arrive at the doctor’s office, say something to relieve tension. You can also start a conversation and help your partner feel better when they first meet the doctor.
Avoid talking about medication, even if it comes to natural remedies. Let the professional talk and decide if medication is necessary. If you have experience in the mental health care field, refrain from prescribing anything to your partner. When you are in a relationship, make sure to provide support as a partner and not a medical professional.
Encourage — don’t push.
Support – don’t judge.
Sometimes it is difficult to understand the person suffering from depression or anxiety. If you push your partner with questions like: “Why can’t you do that? What’s your problem?”, it could be counterproductive and probably will make your partner feel even worse.
You need to understand that even his/ her behavior is frustrating, they cannot control that.
Support and encourage them to fight depression and anxiety. Let them know you understand their internal struggle and try to affect them with positive pieces of advice.
For example, if they are anxious about going out, tell them you know how they feel and ask them how you can help them face their fear. Talk has a positive benefit in dealing with the discomfort anxious and depressed persons feel.
Cultivate a life outside your partner’s anxiety and set boundaries
Live your life!
It might sound selfish, but you need to have personal space to maintain your mental health. Although helping your partner overcome his issues is priority number one, your well-being is essential. It will help if you do not lose yourself during the time of support.
Make sure you have time for yourself and do things that make you feel happy and keep you sane. Don’t distance yourself from others; instead, nurture your friendships and relationships with your family.
Regular exercising and dinner with your friends and family will help you stay away from negative things if your partner’s depression or anxiety makes you feel overburden.
You are a partner, but you should not forget that you are an individual and have your own needs. Therefore, stay positive to help your partner cope with their issues.
Another important thing is to make sure your partner’s depression and anxiety don’t impact your relationships with other people. For example, if your partner is anxious and suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder, he or she might require others to keep everything perfectly arranged according to his/ her idea. So, try to restrict the negative impact of depression and anxiety, but make sure to be gentle with your partner.
When your partner fights depression and anxiety, all the pressure will be on you. Tension in your relationship is inevitable, so focus on your own care. Self-care routines are a great way to promote your physical and mental health and maintain a balance between your work, family, and friends.
Help your partner remember that the goal is to manage anxiety — not to get rid of it.
People who face anxiety and depression are convinced that their disorders are the enemy, which is wrong. Why? Well, the real problem is avoidance. First of all, many people avoid admitting they are anxious and are afraid to face it, which leads to avoidance:
- Not going out because they feel too exposed,
- Not applying for a new job position because they are insecure,
- Not going on vacation because they are afraid of flying. Ultimately, avoidance leads to depression.
Avoidance affects your relationship, as well. If your partner avoids many activities, you share fewer moments. Over time, if anxiety and depression win, the life experiences you share will be equal to zero. To prevent that and help your partner, you need to make a compromise: if your partner feels anxious about swimming, go on hiking or a mountain resort.
In the fighting process, it is important not to accommodate your partner’s anxiety and depression.
Although it is easier to do all things which make your partner feel anxious, such as driving or buying groceries, this aggravates your partner’s anxiety. Instead of fighting, you inadvertently send a message to your partner that there is a reason for the concern, and for them, it is much harder to overcome the anxiety.
Next time, convince your partner to drive, but support them and sit in the front passenger seat. Let them know you are here and do the shopping together.
Engage In Helpful Activities Together
Relaxing activities help manage anxiety and depression. Many things are simple and yet effective. Holding hands or hugging, breathing exercises, listening to music, watching movies, walking are just a few of many activities you can do together. Try to distract your partner’s attention and make them feel comfortable.
Suggest your partner a book to read and then discuss it together. You can research books that help deal with depression and anxiety, but you can choose your partner’s favorite genre and talk about the story or the characters.
Some psychologists even suggest a body scan as a technique to alleviate anxiety. Then, the person with depression and anxiety will pay attention to each body part and ensure that everything about their physical health condition is fine.
What to Do When You’re Partner Refuses Treatment
It is scientifically proven that anxiety and depression and highly treatable. If your partner refuses to seek professional help, try to find out the reason for that.
Often, people dealing with depression and anxiety don’t trust doctors because their treatment didn’t work. Their condition also affects their negative thinking, so try to convince them that not all doctors are experts. For people struggling with anxiety, cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques show the best results.
A combination of medication or psychotherapy provided by an expert in this field, along with your support, is the most optimistic way of dealing with depression and anxiety.
Let’s not forget that you will help your partner and your relationship by loving, supporting, and encouraging.
