Infidelity is one of the most challenging problems couples can face in their relationship. While most people are completely blindsided when they find out, those who have been through infidelity before do realize that there is a pattern to the lies and behaviors that they experience.
If you think your partner might be cheating on you, but aren’t sure how to tell for sure, read on to learn about some of the most common signs that someone is being unfaithful.
1. Lack of Communication
No one should feel like they have to force communication with their partner. If your spouse doesn’t seem interested in talking with you, or even “arguing”, it’s likely that there is an underlying issue present between the two of you which needs addressing.
Stonewalling is not just a term for parents who refuse to listen.
This behavior can also be seen in relationships with significant others. So if you notice these signs of stonewalling coming from your partner, it may be a sign of infidelity:
- Disregards what you say
- Changes the subject to avoid an uncomfortable topic
- Storms off without a word
- Comes up with reasons why they can’t talk
- Refuses to answer questions
- Makes accusations rather than talking about the current problem
- Uses dismissive body language such as rolling their eyes
- Acts in a passive-aggressive manner (stalling or procrastinating to avoid talking)
If you notice some of these signs of stonewalling, you may want to reevaluate your relationship.
2. Major Changes in Your Sex Life
Although it is not uncommon for there to be fluctuations in the frequency of sex in your relationship overtime, if you and your partner used to have a lot of sex and now it has dropped significantly, this could be a sign that something is going on.
A cheater may avoid sexually pleasing you because they are satisfying their needs elsewhere.
On the other hand, cheaters may also give you extra attention in this area due to a renewed sexual drive and guilt.
3. They Suddenly Frequently Text a New “Friend”
It is rather suspicious if you notice an unusual name suddenly popping up in your partners notifications every day that has them glued to their phone. Whether it is a completely unfamiliar name, or a name that you recognize as being their friend, be aware that it is common for people nowadays to change the name of a contact in their phone to a different one.
If you notice the same name popping up over and over, yet they hardly ever talk to you about this person , it is possible that they are not being entirely honest about who they are talking to.
If you have a gut feeling about it, try asking some simple questions about their friend and check for signs of annoyance, nervousness, or avoidance.
4. Late Nights
If your partner suddenly has more time to go out with friends or family, and makes it a point that they do this without you, it could mean that they are losing interest in spending time with you.
Of course it is healthy to spend time away from your partner for the sake of your own individuality, but if you notice that they are spending more time out than they are at home, there is likely a reason behind it.
Late nights could be a sign that they may be spending this time with another person.
5. Flirting with Others Right In Front of You
If your partner is flirting with someone else, it does not mean that they are cheating, however it is still a serious red flag that can indicate other issues in your relationship- such as a lack of interest in their own relationship, testing the waters, and a lack of respect for you.
If your partner is flirting with others right in front of you, they are sending signals that they want to be single, whether they realize it or not.
They may also be trying to gain attention in order to seek validation for their self-esteem, or they could just want to remind you how “lucky” you are. For whatever reason, if you notice them always flirting with someone else right in front of your face, it is a warning sign that something may be going on behind your back.
6. They Suddenly Become Defensive
If your partner seems to be on edge or aggressive in any way when you bring up a topic involving trust, infidelity, or anything of the sort, it could mean that they have something to hide.
Refusing to talk about potential problems in your relationship with your partner is a sign that they are trying to avoid dealing with it.
If your partner shuts down or becomes defensive whenever you bring up a topic involving trust, it could mean that they know that they are in the wrong so they want to avoid it altogether.
7. They Are Suddenly Acting Cold and Distant
When your partner suddenly acts as if they have been wronged by you over something so small, it could mean that they are using this as an excuse to not be around you and maybe even leave.
If your partner has been acting cold and distant lately, or if they seem to be avoiding you for no reason at all, it could indicate that they are hiding something from you.
This change in behavior can also serve as a way to make you doubt yourself and feel like maybe there is something wrong that you are doing.
8. They Are Suddenly Acting Suspiciously Nice
If your partner has been acting unusually nice for the past couple of days, mixed in with some of these other signs, it could mean that they are trying to cover up something.
Suddenly acting overly friendly and kind can serve as a way for them to distract you from what is really going on.
This can be an indicator that maybe something is going on behind the scenes that they feel guilty about.
9. They Stop Doing Things You Enjoy
If your partner suddenly expresses that they aren’t interested in doing things you enjoy or once loved, and it is a frequent occurrence, there could be a problem.
Your partner may not be taking interest in things that they used to do for your sake, for example spending time with your friends or family, or going out with his friends to somewhere you’ve been dying to go.
This could be a sign that they no longer want to do things to make you happy.
On the other hand, this change in behavior may also serve as a way for them to pull away from being with you altogether.
If they seem less interested in going out and doing basically anything with you, this could be a sign that they are looking to jump ship.
10. They Are Not Present, Even When You Are Together
Although everyone needs some “me time” every so often, being present in a relationship means helping out and being there for your partner whenever they need you.
If your partner rarely pays attention to you unless you initiate conversation, it could be because of someone else that they are paying more attention to.
Being there for you can quickly become something that your partner neglects when they are acting distant, which could be due to cheating.
It can be hard to tell if your partner is cheating on you. One way that you might know for sure, however, is when they exhibit the signs of someone who wants to break up with their significant other but doesn’t have the nerve.
Remember: it takes two people for a relationship to work; if one or both partners are not willing to put in an effort then there will always be problems like infidelity, mistrust, anger, frustration – the list goes on! If any of these signs resonate with you or feel familiar at all, you should communicate some of your concerns to your partner.
Although these are some normal patterns of a cheater, it could be that they are simply stressed or experiencing personal problems, so talking through it can help.
Remember: if you don’t communicate with your significant other, the relationship will turn sour.
