Love yourself, because you deserve it!
It’s hard to attract a great relationship when you don’t love yourself. You may wonder how this could be the case. What does loving myself have to do with finding someone else? It has everything to do with it! When you love and respect yourself, others will too. That means that people who might otherwise not be interested in dating you might decide they are interested after all if they see that you like and value yourself enough. You’ll be more likely to find someone with whom you can share your life when you project an air of self-assurance because it is, well… attractive.
Given that loving yourself comes naturally for some people and seems like the most difficult thing in the world for others, I want to help you learn how to love yourself more. It’s time to stop beating yourself up and start nurturing yourself! Loving yourself allows you to give that love to others, which in turn helps them love themselves more as well.
As a dating coach, I have worked with women who struggle to believe they deserve happiness because of the way they think about themselves. If this sounds like you, I know how it feels to think that you’re not good enough. I have been there and it is a lonely place to be.
I want to help you break the cycle of negative thinking so you can start loving yourself more! The first step in doing this is to:
Identify your negative self-talk.
For example, do you tell yourself things like “I’m not pretty enough to date,” “I’ll never meet a decent guy,” or “I don’t deserve someone who will love me back”? Have you caught yourself using any self-deprecating language that makes you feel bad about yourself? If you haven’t yet identified the negative things you say about yourself, this is a good place to start.
What we think about ourselves becomes our reality. If you believe that you’re not pretty enough, that will become the truth for you because your thoughts create your experiences. Because of this, it’s important to change the words we use to describe ourselves! It can be scary to stop telling yourself the same story again and again, but don’t worry. Once you start changing your thoughts, things will start to change for you.
Use positive words about yourself rather than negative ones.
We can learn better ways of thinking if we just take a moment to think before we speak, or write some of our more critical thoughts. If you have a tendency to put yourself down, this is a great way to start changing that thinking pattern.
Let’s take the example of “I’m not pretty enough to date” and turn it into something more positive like, “I may not be perfect but I love my hair and my body!” Once you use positive words about yourself, you will begin to truly believe the new thought. It won’t feel like a lie anymore and it will ring true in your mind. This is why it’s important to change the words we use when thinking about ourselves!
Compliment yourself regularly!
It may seem silly at first, but it works. Start by complimenting yourself on one thing every day. It can be a part of your appearance or something you did that day. For example, “I love my makeup today!” Or the way you handled a situation with someone or even something you cooked. If you compliment yourself, in time, you will know it to be 100% true. You’ll start to feel better about yourself and others will notice the change too!
Choose to see the positive in yourself rather than your flaws.
Do you focus on what you don’t like about yourself and forget to notice the things that make you special? Or do you feel insecure about certain parts of your body and let that determine how attracted someone else might be to you? This is a tough one, I know, but it’s also a really important one.
When you choose to see your positive qualities rather than your flaws, you’ll start to feel better about yourself. Focus on the things you like rather than what might be missing in your life or body. When doing this, make sure that you are being honest with yourself! This will help you see others for their good qualities too!
Treat yourself well.
We tend to put ourselves last when it comes to things like getting our hair done, going for a run or making time for friends and family. You’d do these things for your best friend (or at least I know you would). Take some time each day to show yourself the same love and kindness that you would show a friend.
By giving yourself the same love and kindness that you give others, you will start to realize just how important you are . You deserve all of these things. If your best friend was feeling down about herself or someone wasn’t being very nice to her, would you want her to tell herself “I’m not pretty enough to date”?
No! You’d want her to think positively about herself and eat right, exercise and treat herself well. So why not try it for yourself? When you do this, you’ll feel good about yourself in general which means you’ll act differently with others too.
Make time for yourself to relax.
I’m not telling you that you have to spend hours on end in isolation, but even 15 minutes where you can just sit and relax is all that’s needed. Try to get into the habit of doing something every single day that you love to do. Whether it be taking a bubble bath, reading your favorite book or watching your favorite show, indulge yourself!
When you take this time for yourself each day, you’ll start to learn more about yourself. You’ll slowly learn your likes and dislikes, the things that make you happy and the things that stress you out. When you know these things about yourself it’s easier to improve your life!
Stop comparing yourself to other people.
This is hard for me too! Don’t get me wrong, I love looking at Instagram and seeing what everyone else has going on in their lives. But it’s also easy to look at pictures of perfect bodies or notice all the things your friends are doing that you’re not.
Social media has been shown to increase depression and envy in users. This motivates me to use social networks purposefully, specifically choosing what I will look at while limiting my exposure as much possible.
People carefully curate the social media versions of their lives. You may have had an experience like mine with being shocked when a couple that appeared to be happy end up breaking up just days after what seemed to be the perfect post- it happens all the time.
Continue wishing others well even in these circumstances, but if someones life gives you reason for feeling bad about yours, then remind myself how little insight you actually have into what goes on behind closed doors.
Instead of getting caught up in the comparison game, focus on yourself and the things you want in your life.
When you stop comparing yourself to others, it’s easier to see what you need and don’t need. You’ll start to see your own individuality and also realize how unique you are.
Surround yourself with positive people.
I’m sure we all know someone who puts us down, whether they do it intentionally or not. Sometimes it can be really hard to remove yourself from these people, but cutting them out of your life is the only way to go.
That person might be a friend, family member or significant other and chances are that they don’t even realize what they’re doing. It’s up to you to decide how important that relationship is to you and whether or not it’s worth keeping around.
I’ve found that the people who love and support you are the ones that matter- not the ones that criticize you, bring you down or even try to sabotage your life!
So if you’re in a negative situation, get out of it for your own sake. You deserve to be around people who love and support you, not the ones that cause you pain.
Getting ride of toxic people in your life is not always easy, but it’s so worth it!
Loving Yourself is Important for Your Own Well-being.
It’s not always easy to love yourself, but it’s worth the time and effort you put into it. When you make an effort to self-love on a regular basis, your life improves in many ways: You’ll feel better about yourself which will motivate you to work hard at whatever goals are important to you; You’ll be more kind with others which makes them want to spend time around you; And when negativity or toxic people come into the picture, instead of being affected by them as most people would be, they won’t affect how well you’re doing because there are no negative thoughts inside your head! Loving oneself isn’t just something that happens naturally- it takes commitment
