First things first, we are talking about a HAPPY relationship, not a perfect one. You are not going to have a perfect relationship, you are going to have one with ups and downs. If your relationship were perfect, there would be no passion.
Life is about trying and failing, and about overcoming the challenges we face. And like anything else worth having, a happy relationship takes work. Sometimes it can be hard to remember how wonderful your partner is, or why you fell for them in the first place; but there are often small things we can do to keep our relationships healthy and strong.
Here is what has worked for me:
1. Show affection
Hold hands. Kiss when you greet each other in the morning, and when you part in the evening. Just kissing them once a day will make both you and your partner feel loved. Just spending a minute cuddling on the couch with no distractions is also a wonderful way to show your partner you care.
Be present.
If you’re having dinner with your partner, don’t take out your phone and start scrolling through social media. Make eye contact and really listen to what your partner is saying. Put away your phone and enjoy the conversation, even if it’s about something silly and unimportant.
Be generous. Give compliments freely. If you love their new haircut or outfit, let them know! Your praise will make them feel good about themselves, which will make you feel good about them.
2. Give each other space
Everyone needs time alone every once in a while. Whether thats time at the gym, time with friends, or time for a hobby. It’s important to not take your partner completely for granted and remember that they are an individual with interests that you may not always share.
Taking space doesn’t always have to be for something purposeful either; sometimes it can just be nice to get away from each other for a while.
Your partner might need some alone time because they are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or just need a mental break from everything that is going on in their life.
If you can respect your partner’s need for space, it will help the both of you.
Changing the way you approach your partner’s space might take some time and patience, but communicating openly and honestly will always help.
3. Don’t hold grudges
Arguments happen, but they are meant to be resolved. When we hold grudges, we send a message to our partner that they are not worth forgiving.
Try to resolve your argument as soon as possible- apologize when you are in the wrong and ask for forgiveness when you need it. If apologizing and forgiving feels impossible, try to let go of what is bothering you. Remember that holding onto anger will not help either of you.
While forcing forgiveness isn’t the answer, harboring a grudge can be really bad for your mental health. Resentment can build up and can lead to depression, anxiety, and other health problems.
Remember, everyone makes mistakes. If you know your relationship is worth it and you want to continue to be in it, then you need to be willing to forgive and work through your problems together.
4. Be open about your fears
There are some things that people keep private, but the best way to release fear or anxiety is by sharing it with someone you trust. I have found that my partner has been able to problem-solve on some of my deepest fears and concerns, as well as empathize with me.
I have also been surprised by how my partner is able to bring a new perspective on things that I was nervous about. Plus, once you share the problem it often seems less scary.
We are socialized to believe that if something bothers us we should deal with it privately; but it is always good to remember that we are not alone and that there is no such thing as a problem without a solution.
5. Plan time just for the two of you
Sometimes, spending some time with your partner can be as simple as taking a walk together or cooking dinner at home.
Whether you are together for five minutes or an hour doesn’t matter. You are spending time with your partner, just the two of you. This is very important to keep your relationship healthy and happy.
It could be going on a walk, enjoying a drink together, or even just cuddling on the couch.
Planning quality time for each other helps you remember why you fell for each other in the first place. It also helps to remind your partner that they are important to you, which will increase their desire to make time for the both of you too.
Conclusion
Your relationships should be a safe place for growth and learning. It should never feel bad to approach your partner about something that is bothering you, or anything else for that matter.
Trust them enough to listen, but also trust yourself enough to take the necessary steps forward in order to maintain a happy relationship.
Doing these five things might not be easy, but it will most certainly make your relationship stronger.
It takes commitment and communication to make a good relationship prosper, but with the right amount of effort your relationship can surely last forever.
Life is too short to be unhappy in your relationships; make sure you are happy first, then it will radiate outwards.
