Relationships can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Some days, you might feel like the luckiest person in the world, while on others your partner seems like an impossible enemy to reason with or forgive; but no matter what happens – knowing that these are just storms passing by will help keep things afloat during these very common rough patches.
Learning about the 10 most common relationship problems and how to work through them can help you restore your bond with a loved one.
#1 – Lack of Healthy Communication
A common reason for couples to break up is that they do not feel like they can confide in each other or feel that their partner has anything of value or interest to say.
This lack of communication is generally caused by the fear of either hurting your partner’s feelings, or getting hurt by what they have to say; but especially when these two things occur at different times, it can be very difficult to fix.
In order to overcome this problem, you need to find a balance between sharing your feelings and hearing what your partner has to say, without taking everything too personally.
There will always be some things that hurt while others might seem trivial, but the important thing is that both of you feel safe enough to share them.
#2 – Jealousy and Possessiveness
Another common problem in relationships is when one or both partners feel insecure about their significant other’s actions and take every little thing they do as a sign that they are being unfaithful.
This can be caused by a history of infidelity, or even just having had a parent or another significant figure in their childhood who was not loyal to the family.
It is important for both of you to acknowledge what you are feeling and think about where this might be coming from. It also makes sense to have some reassurance that they are being loyal so that everything feels secure, but try to do it in a way that does not humiliate your partner and keep the problem from getting worse.
#3 – Controlling Behavior
Another common reason for couples to break up is when one or both partners put excessive pressure on their loved one to conform to certain rules, beliefs and behaviors by using tactics such as guilt, isolation or economic coercion.
If this is happening, the first step to take is to make a plan with your partner how to support them giving up these controlling behaviors.
This will help you work together as a team and change things for the better.
#4 – Unresolved Conflict
Unresolved conflict between partners can be one of the most important reasons why people lose interest in their relationship. While you do not necessarily have to agree on everything, it is important that you can talk about the things that bother you, without getting too emotional or defensive.
You must find a way to compromise.
The first thing you need to do is make sure your partner feels like they are heard and understood; this will help them let go of some of the steam and let you do the same. Once you have both calmed down, you can start to come up with a plan that works for everybody involved.
#5 – Infidelity
Cheating is one of the most well-known relationship problems that often leads to break ups.
While it is not necessarily the end-all if this happens once, having an agreement that it will not be a part of your relationship at any time can help you both prevent the problem from taking place.
If your partner has broken this agreement, it is important for you both to understand what led to their actions and acknowledge how it has affected you and your relationship.
There is no right or wrong way to deal with that kind of betrayal, and only you know if your relationship is worth staying in.
#6 – Poor Communication After An Argument
If you and your partner argue and agree to cool off and talk about it later, make sure you actually do it!
One of the main problems with relationships that end is when these conversations are not had, or they end up being more hurtful than constructive because one or both partners do not feel like their opinions and feelings are being heard.
The best way to deal with this is to find a time when you can sit down and talk about what happened without getting too emotional, but also allowing yourself to express the hurt that was caused as a result of it.
#7 – Trust Issues
Trust issues are another problem that can destroy your relationship if left unresolved.
If you or your partner does not feel safe with one another, it will be difficult to maintain the love and connection needed to keep your partnership healthy.
One of the best ways to fix this is to first determine whether these trust issues are coming from pain within yourself from your past, or if your partner is actually doing things to make them seem untrustworthy.
Are you just making up stories in your head that are not actually true? I know it can be really hard to trust someone, we instinctively want to protect ourselves. But you may be further harming yourself by being so consumed in something that may only be real in your head.
#8 – Not Enough Romance Or Intimacy
Another important part of many relationships is intimacy and sexual satisfaction within your partnership.
If these are neglected or too infrequent, it can cause problems with your relationship as you might begin to feel as though the love and passion is fading.
If this is a problem in your relationship, start by being open about what kind of intimacy you want with them and how much you miss it. Talk about doing something new, something different, something out of your norm.
#9 – Too Much Conflict Or Disagreement
While there is always going to be disagreement in your relationship, having too much of it can cause problems with how happy you are together.
If you constantly feel like you are fighting or causing stress for each other, it might help to go to couple’s therapy in order for you both to get a better idea of how you can resolve an argument without making it worse.
If the issue is that you two cannot agree on important matters, you can also try to find ways to compromise and see things from their perspective in order for them to trust that you are trying your best to make both of your lives easier.
#10 – Communication In The Bedroom
While this may not necessarily be a relationship problem that will break you up, it can cause some frustration throughout your love-making sessions.
This is why it is important to communicate with each other about what you both like and what you don’t like in order for both of you to get the most out of your sexual needs.
When it comes to relationships, the most important thing is staying connected.
A lack of intimacy can make couples distant and discontent with their lives together; even worse than feeling alone sometimes! Make an effort by spending time getting intimate in any way that you can.
#11 – The silent treatment
This problem is often caused by someone feeling hurt or offended. The other person feels they cannot convey this offense without escalation, so they opt for silence instead.
But since words are all about context, the person receiving silence will likely assume they did something even worse than originally thought, and feel guilty.
This only makes the guilt grow in their partner’s mind, so can lead to an endless loop of accusations and shame.
To fix this issue:
- Give your partner enough time to calm down if you made them upset.
- Talk about your feelings once emotions have simmered down, and make sure you do not make accusations.
- Make sure to let your partner talk – even if they are angry
#12 – Keeping Score
Both partners might feel like they are giving more than the other or that their partner is just not putting in as much effort, and this can lead to a lot of resentment and anger.
Keeping score means you’re focusing on one half of your relationship while ignoring all the things your significant other does for you; that’s also an easy way to lose track of how much you’re getting in return.
To fix this:
- Appreciate the effort your partner puts into the relationship and make sure they know you care about their feelings too.
- If you find yourself focusing on all the negative things, try to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation.
#13 – Comparing your relationship
You compare your relationship to those you see on social media, television, or even in person — and you’ll only end up feeling like yours isn’t as great as it could be.
Comparing yourself to others can lead to a lot of sadness and unhappiness, not to mention that it can drive a wedge between you and your significant other.
To fix this:
- Stop staying up late scrolling through social media and worrying about what others think of you or your relationship.
- Everyone has flaws, so remember to accept the good with the bad when accepting yourself and your partner.
- Realize that nobody’s life or relationship is as great as they make it seem on the gram.
#14 – Letting Friends Hijack Your Relationship
When your friends don’t know about the issues you’re facing in your own relationship, they might give you some bad advice that can cause those problems to worsen.
They may even convince you to end the relationship altogether because the only context they get is coming from your place of anger.
Make sure you find someone within your friend circle who knows your relationship and can give you advice accordingly.
To fix this: Try not talking to your friends about anything bad in your relationship. If you are the type of person that needs to get relationship advice from your friends, be sure to let the know ahead of time that you love your partner and you want to stay in this relationship.
Also try to tell the story from your partners perspective first. That way, not only will your friend see them as the bad guy, but you get the opportunity to reflect on the situation yourself.
#15 – Breaking Up Over Small Arguments
When we think of “the one,” we don’t always picture someone who we agree with on everything.
It’s important to be able to voice your opinion and come up with a compromise when you feel like your partner is wrong.
But it can become toxic when you let yourself fight over every little thing and refuse to accept that you’re both human, and sometimes wrong.
No matter how much you care for someone on a personal level, it’s not worth being unhappy just because of your fight-or-flight response.
To fix this:
- Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions.
- If you find yourself fighting over little things, try to take a step back and figure out why you’re feeling this way before it gets any worse.
- This is an indication that you both need some space from each other. Not just for the time being, but healthy space throughout your relationship.
#16 – Keeping in contact with your ex
There are some people who will always have a place in your heart, but that doesn’t mean you should keep them in your life.
If your ex is constantly trying to get in touch with you and rekindle the flame, it’s important to remember that most relationships don’t end because of a lack of chemistry.
Rekindling with an old flame can be tempting and exciting, but going backwards is hardly ever a good idea. Are you actually “friends” with your ex? Is that really even possible?
To fix this:
Always keep the best interests of yourself and your current partner in mind. Chances are, if it ended with them, there’s a good reason for it even if you don’t see it right now.
If they try contacting you, make sure to stay strong and politely cut ties without any questions asked.
#17 – Never Taking Time for Themselves
When you get so caught up in trying to make your partner happy, it can start to feel like they’re the only person you need in your life.
While this level of dedication is wonderful when it’s reciprocated, that’s not always the case.
Sometimes we have to take care of ourselves before we can truly be there for someone else.
To fix this:
Always make sure you have something just for yourself on your to-do list, whether it’s meeting a friend or going out on your own.
If you want to go somewhere, but your partner doesn’t, don’t feel guilty for doing what you want to do. Remember, it’s about balance and compromise, not being a “yes person.”
#18 – Making Them the Center of Your Life
When we find someone we like to spend our time with, it’s easy to start doing everything together and never spending time apart.
Everyone needs their space and alone time to recharge, but sometimes others might feel like you don’t care about them if you won’t drop what you’re doing to be with them.
To fix this:
- If they need to go somewhere or do something without you, don’t feel guilty about going out alone or doing something you want to do. Just remember that future plans can always be made with them.
#19 – Being Too Needy
It’s one thing to miss your significant other when they’re not around, but it’s another to make them feel like they’re the only person you could ever want or need in your life.
To fix this:
Always find ways to keep yourself busy and not feel like you’re miserable without your partner. See your friends, go out to the movies or just stay home and Netflix binge. Spend time with family or enjoy some alone time.
Make sure that you’re still doing things you love to do even without your significant other around. This way they won’t feel like you need them in order to function or be happy!
#20 – Constantly Putting Yourself Down
It’s easy to get caught up in the negatives when you’ve had a bad day or two. But while venting can sometimes help us blow off steam,
it’s important to remember that you’re human and everyone makes mistakes.
To fix this:
Even if you were the one who screwed up, don’t be too hard on yourself. We all make bad decisions sometimes; it’s not about if they happen but how we deal with them! Instead of talking down on yourself and throwing a pity party, try to think of what you can do to fix the problem.
Being too self-deprecating will not only make your significant other feel bad for you, but it will also drive them away. So next time you’re tempted to put yourself down, remember that no one is perfect and focus on making things right.
#21 – Going to Bed Mad
When you and your partner have a fight, it’s always best not to go to bed upset or angry at one another.
Always solve problems as they come up and never assume that you’ll just deal with them in the morning.
To fix this:
- Make sure you’re always talking about your problems with one another and not just letting them fester.
- If things get too heated, take a step back to figure out what you can do to resolve the problem for good.
- Remember not to bring up past problems and focus on what’s happening now.
- Remind yourself that you’re a team and fight together, not against one another!
#22 – Arguing Over Everything
Relationships are all about compromise, but sometimes you can go too far to where your part feels like they never get what they want.
To fix this:
Instead of always pushing your wants on them, try to get to know what they want.
Knowing what your partner likes will make it easier for you to compromise and realize when you both are getting something out of it. Try new things together or show an interest in one of their hobbies.
Remember that in order for a compromise to work, both of you need to keep an open mind and be willing to listen. Remember that at the end of the day it’s about giving your partner what they want and getting what you want as well!
#23 – Not Being Supportive
Not everyone is good at giving advice or even listening, but your significant other should know that they can always come to you with their problems, without judgement.
Support can mean many different things to people, but ultimately you just need to be backing your significant other up and cheering them on.
To fix this:
Always try to do what you can to make sure they’re comfortable and happy with where they are at in life.
Think of ways that you could further help their career or hobby and see if they can use your assistance.
Don’t be afraid to go the extra mile for them because you’ll have a happier, more fulfilled life together!
#24 – Not Being Trustworthy
No one should have to wonder if their significant other is trustworthy or not, so if they feel like you’re being shady, it’s time to take a step back and figure out what you could do better.
Sometimes people get too caught up in their own lives that they forget about the effect their actions have on other people.
To fix:
- Remember that you should always be open and honest with them about your actions.
- If you’re feeling down, try to keep your problems to yourself until you’ve figured out how to solve them on your own.
#25 – Being Too Comfortable in the Relationship
Once people start to feel comfortable in their relationships, they tend to do things that can actually damage or ruin them.
If your partner feels like you’re being too comfy, it might be because your actions are showing them that you don’t value them anymore or that you just aren’t trying hard enough to make things work.
To fix this:
Instead of staying cooped up in your comfort zone, try to be more outgoing and take advantage of the life you have together.
Go out on spontaneous adventures with their friends or plan a romantic date for just the two of you. Don’t play it too safe and remember that there’s always room to have fun together.
Remember to always be the best version of yourself for your partner so they have someone awesome to come home to!
#26 – Being Disrespectful
There’s nothing wrong with having boundaries or even disagreeing over certain things, but if your significant other feels disrespected, it might be time to think about how your actions are affecting them.
To fix this:
- Always try to find the root of their problem and never assume that they’re just jumping to conclusions.
- If you really feel like there’s no way for you two to resolve something, take a break for a few days so that you can figure out where your relationship stands.
- Always uplift your partner, especially in public.
#27 – Trying to Change Each Other
No one likes to hear that they need to change, especially if it’s coming from someone who claims to love them.
This is one of the most common problems people face because no one wants to be seen as flawed, but if they’re trying to change you just because they think it will make the relationship better, then there might be something else going on.
To fix this:
- If your partner is always accusing you of changing when you haven’t done anything different, try stepping back and figuring out what’s really bothering them.
- If they’re just trying to change you for the sake of being right, try breaking up with them so that they can find someone who loves them for exactly what makes them unique.
#28 – Holds a Grudge
Once trust is lost in a relationship, it’s really hard to get back and even harder to move past it.
If your partner feels like you can never let go of the past, they might take it personally and start thinking that you don’t trust them or even love them anymore.
To fix this:
- Try reminding yourself that people make mistakes in relationships, but if you truly care about someone, then you should be able to let it go.
- If your partner is the one holding a grudge, talk to them about how they can take better care of their mental health so that you guys can move forward together.
#29 – Lacks Personal Space
When people get comfortable with each other in relationships, they tend to forget that everyone needs their own space to unwind. I
f your significant other feels like you’re being intrusive with how much time you spend together, they might be trying to tell you something without hurting your feelings.
To fix this:
- Always remember that putting someone under pressure isn’t the best way to show them you care about them.
- Try suggesting a break from time to time or even a date night so that you can remind them what it’s like to be single again.
#30 – Spending Too Much Time Away from Each Other
If your partner feels neglected because you’re spending too much time away from them, they might be thinking that your love for them isn’t as strong as it was when you guys first started dating.
To fix this:
- Always remind them how much they mean to you and why your relationship means so much to you too by making an effort to see them more often.
- If all else fails, try going out on a romantic date with them to remind them why they fell in love with you in the first place.
Relationships are all about give and take.
It’s important to make sure that both parties in the relationship feel cared for, loved, respected, and happy. Sometimes this means putting your partner first or stepping back when they need space.
However you approach it with love as an ingredient, your relationships will last longer than ever!
