There isn’t a single person on this Earth that is perfect, and there isn’t a single person who doesn’t run into problems in their lives. We all have unpleasant memories, decisions, regrets, feelings of guilt for our actions, and remorse for missed opportunities. Our past is full of events that, no matter good or bad, should always remain behind us. Every experience has a significant impact on our future, but we don’t have to hold onto them. We make mistakes, learn from them and move on. For some people, it is easy to move on after a traumatic experience, but for many others it’s very difficult to look forward and I understand.
You possess enormous potential and the power of free will to do, say, feel, and think whatever you want. So, why do we choose to hold onto hurtful memories from the past? Especially the experiences that cause the most pain, suffering and weigh heavily on our shoulders.
When it comes to letting go of the past, time can be your best friend. It can heal your wounds and help you deal with your demons. One of the hardest things is to let go of the past and anything significant in life, particularly our relationships with people we love and admire.
In today’s blog post, you can read about how to begin to move forward from all memories, mistakes, and regrets from your past that cause you inconveniences and keep you from living a meaningful life filled with joy and happiness.
Recognize That It’s Time to Move On
The hardest part of letting go of the past is deciding it is time to move on. When you are in an unenviable situation and struggle to overcome your problems, it is pretty hard to make tough decisions that will determine your future. But, no matter how hard it seems, the new choices will help you move on and have a bright future.
It’s time to stop tormenting yourself. Most of the time it isn’t your fault that something traumatic has happened in your past, whether you were a child or if an accident happened, but it is absolutely your job to build yourself up enough to move passed it.
Turn Letting Go Of The Past Into A ‘’Must’’
The first step in letting go of the past is admitting and accepting what is holding you back. It is time to move on, and by acknowledging your problems you can do just that.
What exactly are you holding on to? Have you failed in a relationship? Do you have a misunderstanding with а family member? Someone you lost? Do you need to forgive someone, or do you need someone’s forgiveness? Open your heart and talk about your emotions or write a letter to yourself. Once you let go of your anger, you can step into a calm and relaxing state and move on. The longer you hold onto pain, suffering, and anger, the more it becomes who you are. If you have those things inside of you, then that is exactly what you will have to give out to others.
Every problem has a solution, and when you move on from the past, you can work on your future relationships. Work on new chapters in your life and focus on connecting with yourself. Set a goal and focus on it. If you have a clear purpose, you won’t let negative emotions make you give up. Challenges and difficulties are inevitable, but you will stay focused on your goal if your will is strong enough.
Identify Your Emotional Habits
The process of letting go of the past is challenging and requires deep introspection. In my personal opinion, the hardest part is to identify your emotional habits. Are you satisfied with your life at this point? Do you have any beliefs that limit you? Where do you live emotionally?
Every day we face and deal with our emotions and emotions of other people. Emotions have a significant impact on our everyday life entirely imperceptibly. We get accustomed to the feelings, particularly the negative ones, and we get stuck into an emotional loop. It is a constant circle in which everyone reacts as they believe others would in that specific situation.
Emotional habits have an intense influence on our everyday lives, our reactions, and how we move on from the past. The biggest mistake people make is empowering negative emotions instead of focusing on positive emotions.
Therefore, if you want to let go of your past, you need to identify your emotional habits: if you train your brain to think about negative things, you will feel sad, angry, frustrated, and anxious when dealing with challenging and potentially stressful situations. Another option is to train yourself to focus on positive things, and joy, passion, and happiness will fill your life. Controlling your emotions is the most challenging step in letting go of the past. You need to focus on positivity and don’t let fear and doubts control you. Also, be prepared to feel strong emotions when you think about past events. The best thing to do is to feel those feelings unconditionally and not try to fix anything already finished.
Most people close up when they start to think of a bad memory from their past. Our emotions have memory also, so that is why when you think of the past, you will feel the exact same emotions that you did when that hurtful event happened to you. It was too much to deal with, so you buried it inside of you.
The problem is, those repressed memories and emotions still live inside of you today, and they always will if you aren’t willing to release them from the internal prison you have them in. What happens when you keep the past inside you is the negative emotions will come up every single time something in your everyday life reminds you of that pain, its called a “trigger”.
If you hold onto the fact that you were mistreated as a child, you will find yourself trying to protect that inner child from being hurt again by becoming triggered when a romantic partner does or says something seemingly innocent that you deem a threat.
Think about what some of your triggers are and try to find the source of that pain. Once you find the source, try your best to become “friends” with that pain. How can you set that prisoner (negative energy) free?
Be brave and face those emotions head-on. Just like when your muscles ache after a great workout, growth comes from being uncomfortable. You got this.
Control Your Mind
Create an empowering story that will help you to move forward. To make a breakthrough and let go of the past, you must condition your mind every day. Make a strategy and develop an inspirational story.
Many things can distract you and cloud your mind, so it is extremely important to maintain common sense. Negative emotions can easily dominate and make you feel disempowered, disillusioned, and disappointed.
The goal is to focus your energy on letting go of the past, and negative thoughts will keep bringing you back to the beginning.
Instead of thinking about the negative patterns you are stuck into, focus on empowering stories. Surround yourself with positive energy and people who make you feel loved and happy.
When I am feeling at my lowest and noticing my negative thoughts, I know that there is only one way out of feeling that way. That is to deliberately change my thoughts into more positive ones. That can be pretty tough to do when you are already in a bad headspace, but my trick is to not focus on what is going wrong, but to focus on what I want.
Instead of thinking, “I don’t like this.” I will start thinking, “What I like is____”.
Instead of, “He is not doing what I want him to do.” I think, “I love when he does this _____”.
Instead of, “I don’t have enough money”, think “I have enough money for ___, and I can get more.”
The Universe then has no choice but to start creating the things that you are focused on.
Practice Mindfulness
This skill will help you focus on things happening in the present and help you to be more compassionate towards yourself. By creating empowering rituals, you will focus on things that keep your attention and make you feel good.
- Focus on enjoying small things: the smell of coffee in the morning, the taste of your favorite meal, or the book you are reading;
- Spend more time in nature. Make sure to go somewhere outside the city crowd and relax your body and mind;
- Choose an activity or hobby that is creative, such as drawing or dancing; or whatever it is that you love but don’t ever make time for.
- Try meditation or start yoga classes;
In addition to this, you can establish daily routines, such as jogging before going to work, eating a healthy breakfast, turn off your phone for one hour to meditate, learning something new. These routines may seem simple and irrelevant, but they have a significant impact as they are mind-expanding activities.
Practicing gratitude is a great habit that will help you focus on the present instead of the past. Think about all things that you are grateful for. Make a journal, but don’t focus only on material things. Think about your personality: a strong, powerful individual that is valued and loved.
I’m grateful that the people I love are still here with me. I’m grateful for the beautiful relationship I have. I’m grateful that I am able to learn and to grow. And I’m so, so grateful that I have the opportunity to teach what I’ve learned.
What are you grateful for?
Focus On What You Can Control
It is impossible to control the way others feel and act, but you can control how much power others have over you. You cannot control all circumstances, but you definitely can make decisions that will make you feel good.
We all worry about things from time to time, and for many people the worrying and stress happens on a daily basis.
When you find yourself worrying, take a minute to step back and think about the things that you have control over.
You can’t prevent a storm from coming, but you can prepare for it. You can’t control outside situations or another person, but you can control how you react.
Recognize that sometimes all you can control is your effort and your attitude. When you put your energy into the things you can control, you’ll be much more effective.
Focus your attention and energy on positivity and make opportunities. By controlling your actions, you can have complete control over your life.
You can’t change your partner and fix the unhealthy relationship, but you can break up and learn from it. Every experience can teach you something new, and your past doesn’t have to equal your future if you don’t want to. You have the power to change things.
Break the pattern of bad luck and focus on creating the life you want and deserve.
Work On Personal Growth
Letting go of the past is the best time to focus on yourself entirely. Make a personal growth plan and stick to it. Focus on positivity, learn new things and improve your skills. Keep your mind busy, as that is the best distraction from negative thoughts and emotions. Use your time wisely and do things that empower you.
Make yourself a priority and avoid everything and everyone that makes you feel stressed or sad. If you want a successful career or healthy relationship, dedicate yourself to that. There will be obstacles, but no one said it would be easy.
You can always visit a health expert and seek professional help if you need to.
How I started on my personal growth journey was actually on Youtube. I think a random video (probably not random, I definitely manifested it) popped up on my feed and was exactly what I needed to hear. It was exactly what I was feeling and each word hit me like a ton of bricks.
It made me feel good and I thought, “I want to feel more of this.” So I kept learning and it became fun to learn new ways of improving myself.
Surround Yourself With Positive People
As I already mentioned, letting go of the past is challenging, and if you spend time with people who remind you about it, the entire process will be much more difficult.
Surround yourself with people who will help you feel better and will help you heal faster. People who genuinely love you will help your growth and progress; they will support you and help you to move on.
I have had to let go of certain toxic family members, even if it were just for a temporary amount of time. I have let go of friends who I stayed in contact with only because we had been friends for a very long time, but that is no reason to keep negative people around.
It is easy to spot the people who do not genuinely have your best interest at heart. Who low key hold you back and who do not clap for you when you win.
Distance yourself from them and always prioritize yourself.
Make Room For The New
The process of letting go of the past will be more straightforward if you have a motive. Having a clear goal and motive will help you stay focused. The feeling of misery and a broken heart will demotivate you, so try to find something beyond yourself. Volunteering in associations in your community is inspiring and appreciative.
Letting go of the past means you have new goals, new visions, and new people. The new chapter is your chance to shine. Embrace changes and appreciate everything new!
