Love is one of the most fascinating, and sometimes confusing feeling in the world. There’s no one concrete definition for this deep affection, it can change depending on who you ask as well your own personal life experiences.
There are different variables that can change the way you view love, such as the age of each partner, and the stage in their life. For example, loving someone when you are a teenager and loving someone when you are an adult can be completely different!
Relationships are a combination of emotions and feelings, but sometimes love is not part of them. Being with someone who does not share your definition of love can be a complete disaster.
So let’s help you determine where you are at this point in your life.
The Different Types of Love
Love exists in many forms:
- Sexual passion
- Deep friendship
- Playful love
- Intellectual love
- Love of thyself
- Love for everyone
- Long-lasting love
- Obsessive love
Sometimes love is just practical, and different people have different expectations for their relationship.
There is no right and wrong ‘type of love,’ there is just the way you love someone and the way you want to be loved.
The point is to find a partner who loves you the same way you love them. Unmet expectations will leave you feeling frustrated and sometimes depressed.
Have you ever noticed that you love differently in each relationship?
When I was a teenager, I just knew for sure that my boyfriend was the love of my life and that we would be together forever. I laugh now, knowing that the love I have for my now husband far exceeds the superficial and lackluster love I’ve felt in previous relationships.
I think we can all relate!
Maybe your first love was a best friend. Or maybe you were married to someone who didn’t know how to love you so well. Whatever it is, it’s easy to look back and see all the ways we loved imperfectly, whether it was because of bad habits or lack of emotional intelligence.
Now that you are older and more experienced, you begin to realize that there are many kinds of love; no relationship is the same as another.
And this understanding brings us closer to accepting ourselves and others for who they are and how they love.
Physical Love vs Spiritual Love
As you read earlier, there are a number of different ways that humans have been known to show love. For the most part, they can all be put into these 2 categories: Physical Love or Spiritual Love.
Spiritual love is a way to self-discovery and understanding who you are, while physical love may be found in lust and short term relationships.
Sometimes people experience both when they find their soulmate!
The difference between the two can be hard to distinguish at first since emotions are high at the beginning of any relationship, but after reading further hopefully you will know how to determine what kind of love it is that you are feeling in your heart for someone at this very moment.
Physical Love
This one is easy; this takes something concrete like sexual passion or physical attractiveness.
This can also include pure chemistry with someone. It is often found in lust and short-term relationships.
You can’t imagine your life without this person because they make you feel so good, but if you can’t see passed this, it could often mean that your relationship can also come with emotional baggage that is hard to handle at times.
When we have sex, our body produces oxytocin, and sometimes, having sex makes us feel we are bonding with that person on a romantic level.
But having sex with someone is not always emotional. Very often, sex is liberating and stress relieving. If sex is just physical and there is no emotional bond, you won’t feel anything once the magic wears off.
The physical bond won’t last long when there isn’t a deep emotional and spiritual connection between the partners.
Characteristics of a physical love include:
- Lots of sex
- Can’t get enough of being with their partner or lover
- The relationship may be short term/fleeting
- Physical attraction comes before emotional attraction
- Romantic gestures or sexual intimacy are common signs of affection
- Both partners may not want to fully commit or they are cheating on each other
- Passionate love is often seen in this type of relationship
For some people, this intense attraction might burn out and cause the relationship to end, or it may transform into a deeper or different type of love.
Questions to ask yourself:
Is the physical attraction for your partner extreme?
Do you need the same amount of physical intimacy?
Do you enjoy touching, kissing, cuddling, and having sex anytime your partner tries to get close to you?
Do you feel the same need for sexual intercourse?
Do you have the same fantasies and fetishes?
Do you talk about your feelings with each other?
Do you feel that your partner listens and understands you?
Spiritual Love
Spiritual Love is an emotional attraction and admiration of the other person’s personality or character. It doesn’t care about their physical appearance, and it looks deeper into the person’s life to see who they are when no one is watching.
This love is unconditional; it doesn’t change with time or circumstance.
You can even have spiritual feelings for more than one person at a time because this process happens in your mind and heart.
My personal opinion is that the most rewarding type of love is when partners connect on a spiritual level. There is nothing more substantial than partners bonded in this way.
It is undeniable that physical attraction is important, but that is just superficial knowledge of your partner’s external needs.
Connection on a spiritual level is the highest level of knowing someone. People change, and relationships evolve, so it is not necessary to be on the same path with each other.
Partners who love each other exchange feelings and emotions. Their relationship doesn’t feel like working hard to get something. The relationship should make both partners better human beings by showing mutual love. Partners serve each other’s needs but without submission.
According to many people, spiritual love can develop before partners become intimate or even meet each other. For some, it may sound unreasonable, but sometimes love is defined with trust and unselfishness above everything else. When there is no sexual or any other type of intimacy, the obsession with someone’s body is replaced with inner security and attractiveness at a higher, spiritual level.
You may be experiencing Spiritual Love if:
- You share common goals, interests, or activities as part of your relationship
- There is emotional attraction and admiration for the other person’s personality
- The relationship is based on mutual respect and admiration
- There is an emotional connection that goes beyond just good feelings
- You both are willing to give space in the relationship at times
- There is an element of “coming home” when you are with them
- The goals and dreams of your partner becomes close to your heart
Ask yourself these questions:
Is honesty your priority?
Do you think you have the same feelings and emotions?
Do you consider you and your partner to be on the same wavelength?
Is intellectual stimulation equally important for both of you?
How does your daily life look?
Can you see yourself living together with your partner?
Can you agree about the housework and financial planning?
Do you have the same vision for the future?
Communication is the key to a successful relationship, and before you start talking, you need to define your wants, needs, and expectations.
A relationship can be successful or a waste of time, and it depends on whether your partner meets your expectations or not. Your choices define your happiness.
[…] particularly important in relationships with your romantic and intimate partner. When partners are spiritually connected, they listen to each other with empathy and pay complete attention to every word they say, simply […]