Love is like an addiction: you are happy with your partner and want to spend all of your free time doing fun things with your soulmate. All those intense feelings and activities that increase your adrenaline feel exciting at the beginning: the first date, first kiss, sex, first fight, and before you even have time to realize what is going on, you are already in a long-term relationship. Relationship experts explain that the longer you are with someone, the higher are chances to become compassionate. Something passionate and fulfilled with sexual drive initially, evolves, and becomes soft-hearted, caring, and deep emotional attachment over time. Many couples tend to lose interest in the break-the-bed type of sex that lasts all night long. Instead, they prefer cuddling and watching TV shows. It is a rarity for couples who are together for many years to experience a high level of sexual passion all the time. Transition is inevitable and should not scare you. Compassionate love is the magic that sustains the relationship over time.
It’s pretty hard to maintain the romance once real life begins, the chores, paying the bills, stress at work, and taking care of the kids. However, if you are being compassionate and having a life, it doesn’t mean that the spark will completely disappear.
If your relationship doesn’t face other problems, you can make changes and keep the spark alive. Both you and your partner can rekindle your romantic life and start feeling the excitement of the good old times.
But, what’s “the spark” actually? Anything that makes you feel good and excited when you are with your partner: the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, electricity when your partner touches your skin, the excitement when your partner looks you in the eyes and has that sexy smile. A romantic dinner or weekend getaway will make you feel amazing, but it is essential to keep the spark alive in everyday life: without candles that glow and wine that makes you feel relaxed and super sexy.
No matter if long distances, contradicting schedules, body and hormonal changes, obligations, children, or some other reason led to losing the spark in your relationship, you can change that. Sometimes it feels that everything is just okay, but you still don’t spend enough quality time together. The following pieces of advice will help you maintain the romance in your relationship and keep the spark alive:
Don’t Rush the Improvements
Now, while you are reading this blog post, you probably want to make action plans. That is great, but you shouldn’t rush it. In fact, pushing your partner towards changes could be counterproductive. Therefore, take it easy and start by setting some long-term romance goals. You cannot make improvements overnight when there is more romance than sex. Research has shown that the longer partners stay together, the less frequently they have sex. But, what is your definition of amazing sex life? How often do you want to have sex? It is perfectly normal to have sex once a week, but is that okay with you and your partner? You can improve any element of your relationship together, but initially, you need to focus on enjoying the time you spend together. Pressuring yourself and your partner may negatively impact both of you: you can start feeling even more frustrated and stressed. Stress is not sexy, so take it slow.
Communicate Your Needs
Good communication is the key to a successful relationship. Regardless of whether you are talking about ordinary stuff or something as important as your sex life, talking and listening are extremely important. If you want to keep the spark alive, you need to tell each other what you want. A constructive discussion will help you to summarize the facts and work through your problems.
It would be best if you talk about your feelings, needs, and expectations so your partner can understand what to do. Couple counselors explain that keeping or bringing back the spark in your relationship starts with talk. You should never take your partner for granted and forget about their needs. Hugs will warm your heart, but sex is the real deal.
Communicating is the first step to bring romance back into the bedroom. Dedicate your time to your partner because a casual chat before bedtime won’t keep the spark alive, for sure. Try to talk your partner’s love language, make plans for the future, and tell what is on your mind.
It is interesting to mention that according to recent research, in order to keep balance in your relationship, you need to have five times as many positive communications as negative ones.
Take Time To Check In
It might seem unimportant, but you will show your partner that you think about them with regular texts. No matter how long you’ve been together and whether you are in your 20s or 40s, everyone enjoys short texts. Modern technology is super handy: with just a few clicks, you can send sweet or sexy text and put a smile on your partner’s face.
Put Intimacy First
If you ask yourself: ‘What should I do to keep the spark alive?’ my advice will always be: ‘Make your partner feel desirable.’
The most common reasons partners avoid initiating physical affection and intimacy with their partner are unresolved arguments hanging in the air and fear of being rejected. Many couples accumulate their problems, and something that started as a slight misunderstanding, over time, turns into a lack of intimacy. Issues and disagreements prevent the partners from investing energy and effort and improve or keep the spark alive. Also, another huge factor is the lack of physical intimacy. Therefore, the first step is to make sure your partner feels sexy and desired. Start with spending more time together, touch, and increase skin-to-skin contact. Pay attention to details, so erotic massage and sexy underwear are always a great idea.
Stop with the unfounded reasons, and don’t blame yourself or your partner for your situation. Instead, reconnect and indicate the physical closeness you both need.
Anticipate Each Other’s Needs
What is the glue that keeps happy couples together? Anticipating and fulfilling each other’s needs, regardless if you are together or apart, will show your partner how much you love them. Knowing your partner’s needs and doing something that makes them satisfied will keep the spark alive. Sometimes it is about small gestures: buying her favorite flowers to cheer her up or washing his car if you know he hates it. Doing things for your partner without being asked is one of the most amazing things you can do.
Get a Good Night’s Sleep
You may wonder how sleeping is linked to the sparkles in your relationship, but a good night’s sleep is crucial for your overall health and well-being. Getting a good night’s sleep means lower stress level and a well-rested body. Thus, you will be in the mood for romance when you come home after long working hours. If you have a high-quality sleep during the night, you will wake up full of energy for morning cuddles. An interesting scientific fact is that your body recharges important hormones like testosterone and estrogen during sleeping, and having someone close to you provides an amazing sense of security.
Sometimes, the mattress may cause some kind of tension, but there is a solution for that: buy separate mattresses that meet the expectations of both partners.
Be Romantic Outside the Bedroom
When it comes to keeping the romance alive in the bedroom, it is important to take a look at the big picture, as well. Even though the whole point is to keep the spark alive, you can make romance part of your everyday life. It is not only about your anniversary or Valentine’s Day; love does not work on a switch on and off. Every day should bring you some kind of pleasure. Show your partner your love and affection in small ways. In that way, you will feel closer to one another and will make your intimacy stronger.
Get Creative with Date Night
According to relationship experts, date nights build an emotional connection in the relationship. Planning the date night, thinking about what to wear to seduce your partner, having dinner at an exclusive and romantic restaurant will enhance the desire and romance. Weekly date nights should be part of your lifestyle. It does not always have to be expensive to enjoy it. There are lots of activities that you can adapt to your budget. Doing something special with your romantic partner will help you keep the spark alive.
Plan Surprises
Everyone wants pompous surprises, but it is not about how much money you will spend. No, it is about thinking about making your partner happy and spending time planning the surprise. If you are too busy or you are not much creative, keep it simple:
- Book a short trip and tell your partner you are going somewhere nice.
- Don’t reveal the details. Your partner will appreciate the gesture of planning something fun.
- Remember why you are together and why you are into this relationship in the first place.
Be Adventurous Together and Apart
Creating memories with your romantic partner is an essential part of any long-term relationship. When you are having an adventure, your body produces dopamine, which is the hormone that enhances feelings of pleasure. There are numerous choices: visiting unknown places, hiking, mountain biking, bungee jumping, parachuting, etc. Trying new things as a couple should be a habit. Sports activities are great for your body, as well, besides bringing excitement and pleasure.
In addition to this, you can enjoy adventures independently, which is an excellent opportunity to spend some time alone, and your partner will miss you. When you come back home, you will have new stories to tell and many new topics to talk about.
Undoubtedly, adventures will help you keep the spark alive.
Maintain Separate Interests
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you should lose yourself and focus on your partner entirely. In fact, it is healthy to have your own hobbies and interests. Also, spending time with your family and friends and encouraging your partner to do the same will make both of you happy. In the long run, it will make your relationship much stronger.
Appreciate Each Other’s Differences
You and your partner are individuals, you have different opinions, and it is impossible always to agree. Respect your partner’s opinion, and argue constructively. Sometimes a fight can become a hot sex duel. Sex after a fight will provide you relief, but it can be pretty exciting, right?
