“Ugh, 3 more hours of work. I wish it was 5 o’clock already. I have so many things to do when I get home. What should I make for dinner?“
If this type of internal dialogue sounds familiar to you, don’t worry…you’re not totally bat-shit crazy! It’s just the voice inside your head. I used to think that there was something wrong with me when I was a kid because my mind would seem to go on and on whenever I would try to sleep.
“It’s really late. I need to be asleep. I can’t because I’m nervous about my presentation tomorrow. What should I wear to school? Thank goodness it’s almost Friday.”
I would try to shut it off, but the more I observed it blabbering, the more questions I had:
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Why doesn’t this chatter ever shut up?
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Why can’t I control it?
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Why does it disturb me?
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(And most of all) Why do I listen to it?
If you take a step back and observe this voice on your own, you’ll realize that you are (and have always been) the one that listens.
Go ahead, make it say, “Hello”. . . . .
HellOoOoOoOo
HelllllllllllOoOoOo
See. You are the force that makes it happen, but you are not the voice. It’s really important to understand this concept because we can go on our whole lives thinking that this crazy voice is actually us!
Imagine if this voice was not inside your head, but rather it was an actual person — someone you had to be with forever, like a spouse. Your spouse would be walking around all day talking to themselves, arguing with themselves, boosting their own confidence, and giving you bad advice to make you worry.
How miserable would that be?
So, if this voice is not actually you..what is it and why do we have it?
The simple reason why we have this voice is because it is our minds way of taking reality, or “the outside world”, and interpreting it in a way that we can have control of. Our mind loves feeling like it is in control. The inner world is yours but the outside world is not, and so your interpretation of it using this voice gives you your own perception vs the one that is actually out there.
This is a mental model of reality, not reality itself. If you can’t get the world the way you want it, you internally analyze it, judge it, and recreate it to fit your narrative. This voice literally judges everything in an attempt to feel like it is actually you.
Reality is just too real for most of us. So we use the voice as a form of protection. Your mind is buffering yourself from life.
It is like a layer of skin that people build up to keep from feeling what’s going on inside.
This inner voice also motivates you, but this motivation can come across as controlling and sometimes aggressive, especially if your inner reality does not match the actual world. The inner voice takes your actual experience and then fabricates a narrative based off of what you think, what you feel, and what you desire to make it in a way that is easier for you to digest.
(It also says things like “you’re not good enough if you don’t follow this inner voice”)
This inner voice is encouraging your survival — but there comes a time when the inner voice can hinder your growth.
If you want to change your inner voice, then you have to be able to accept that it is merely a mental construct — not really “you” at all. It is only a reflection of the world while transforming itself into something more manageable for yourself.
So how do you stop it? The inner voice will not just disappear on its own. You have to make a conscious effort to stop feeding into the inner narrative you are creating for yourself.
So first, accept that your inner voice is never 100% right because it is based off of your perception vs the universal reality. If your inner dialogue starts rambling too much, turn up the volume on the outside world. Go outside, talk to someone in person, or give yourself a gift of silence by not watching the news or reading the internet.
Once you realize that your inner voice isn’t reality, you’ll begin to disengage from it and start listening for the inner voice itself — which is what you really are . You will have to be patient with yourself, but once you catch on to this inner voice inside of your head — the one that’s speaking right now . . .
The one that thinks it’s you. The inner voice is not really your inner self! That inner voice is like a little child trying to find its way through maturity and adulthood and inner peace.
The inner voice is an inner reflection of your world, but once you accept this inner voice for what it really is . . that inner voice becomes less relevant and starts to become more of a guidepost than the actual main character in your life story. It then makes way for your true inner self to shine through!
Once you quiet this inner voice and you can hear your inner self, the inner world stops being something to fight against. It becomes a place where you make friends with yourself for who you really are. And once you accept that inner voice, your inner world becomes the landscape rather than a battleground.
This inner world is constantly changing as your inner voice states whatever it thinks, feels, or wishes to be true. This inner voice is constantly trying to find its way through your inner world, but once you accept that inner voice and see what it really is . . . then this inner voice becomes the blueprint for your growth rather than the actual person leading you on your journey within yourself!
How to differentiate your thoughts from who you actually are, the inner-self, and how you can be aware of that inner-self in present moment.
This inner voice inside your head is not you, it is simply your thoughts informing you about everything that happens around you and inside your body. And these are just words and sentences translated into images or actions by your brain, which then does what it is told.
What if you looked at the inner voice inside of your head as your inner-self, who has infinite potential to be present and explore inner self? Whatever happens in the inner voice does not affect your inner-self. You can simply observe what’s going on outside or inside your body while being aware that this inner voice is your true self.
What your inner voice says about the world around you can be confusing because your thoughts can tell you that either your feelings are right or wrong. Your mind tries to convince your soul to think a certain way or make an action in order for your life to be easier. However, your soul needs no comfort from your mind, your feelings are your intentions and your actions are your decisions, so it is your true self who needs to make the action.
Let’s say your inner voice brings up a thought about being late for an important job interview. At this moment your soul hears your inner voice saying that you might be late and while you feel frustrated. On your next breath your inner voice reminds your soul that your feelings are just your intentions, in this case feeling frustrated. Your soul has the intent to explore what might happen if you were late. So your soul decides that it wants to be late for this interview.
The moment your actions become your intentions, your mind will bring up many thoughts, like your feelings of frustration will be your fault or your inner-self is wrong. But your soul does not listen to what your mind has to say, your inner-self knows that your intent is to explore your actions and decisions as a whole and by doing so, you would learn something interesting about yourself, which could later lead you towards your true goal in your life.
If your inner voice is the one that listens, then your mind is simply your translator for your actions and intentions. The trouble begins when you try to ignore your true self or worse, your soul tries to satisfy your mind’s pleas. Once you’re able to differentiate between your mind and your inner-self, your life will be filled with energy, your mind will listen your soul, and your actions will begin to become your intent.
It can get difficult to understand
The human brain is an amazing organ that continually surprises us with its capacity to process and produce thoughts. Yet your mind will always try to convince your soul to think a certain way or make an action in order for your life to be easier. You can take advantage of this by being aware of the difference between your inner-self, who possesses infinite potential as well as your true self, which you need no comfort from your mind because it’s what has your actions and intentions.
Once you know how these two parts work together, then both sides are able to satisfy one another’s needs while exploring new possibilities at the same time. Your feelings are just your intentions so explore them without worry about making mistakes or hurting anyone else along the way since your actions will help your soul decide your next steps.
