Have you ever “let something go”, only to be triggered and re-triggered by it, over and over again?
Choosing not to bring it up or acknowledge it in response to a trigger, isn’t the same as letting go.
Choosing to ignore something when you are faced with it is actually an understandable defense mechanism, but I promise you this: It doesn’t ever work out in the long run.
Forgiving the people that have wronged us, or letting go of anger about what happened in the past, is easier said than done. Even when we know it’s the best option for us to move on.
Even though it might seem easier to shove all of your feelings down and hope they go away, things we refuse to face or feel will always come back to haunt us, and life will keep throwing the same scenarios at us.
So let’s try something different, but first… let’s talk about WHY it’s so important to finally let things go.
Why we need to let things go:
Even though you may think that you are unaffected by suppressing hurtful memories and experiences, that is actually not the case.
You see, everything is energy, and energy is meant to flow. Normally, when we process every day events, we allow these energetic thoughts and feelings to flow right through us –we’re unaffected by them. But when we encounter a negative, hurtful, and sometimes traumatic experience — our fragile ego’s tend to hold onto those so tightly that we never allow that energy to flow. It gets stuck inside of us.
That negative energy that we hold onto and push down just stays inside. Circling around and trying to exit, trying to flow –but to us it feels like stress, anxiety, and eventually depression.
The longer this negative energy stays inside of you, the more you become triggered by certain situations, not even knowing where it actually stems from. That’s what triggers are. Negative energy trying to flow out of you.
Whenever an opportunity presents itself for this negative energy to flow and be released, we often lash out in anger or sadness, and again keep that negative energy inside of us.
That current situation causes you to remember that hurtful feeling from the past, that negative energy, and you subconsciously act out in a way to prevent that situation from ever happening again.
You might yell, argue, cry, or whatever you do when you become triggered. The problem with that is, as long as you hold that negative energy inside of you, the more triggering scenarios will present themselves.
Triggers come in different forms, but they all eventually lead you to the same outcome: You feeling horrible because of something that happened in the past.
Energy is meant to flow. All of it. It is not ours to keep, so let’s let it go.
How to turn negative energy into positive energy
In order for this negative energy to make its way through you, it has to be turned into positive energy. This means that you must find a way to become “friends” with negative situations that you’ve been holding onto.
Once you find a way to become friends with those negative feelings and let them flow, you will essentially take those negative feelings (and the triggers that stem from them) out of your life.
How do we turn this around?
Well, first we need to understand how our mind responds when faced with a triggering situation…
We have two options:
We either cave in and allow ourselves to be consumed by the triggering situation, thus creating more negative energy and adding to our pain, or we learn how to let it go.
When you become friends with these types of situations (that has caused negative energy) and let them flow through you, you can take things out of your energy field that do not serve you anymore.
Most people know that love is one of the best ways to deal with negative energy. When we feel love, we realize how unimportant and unworthy those things really are. But what about the situations and memories we can’t seem to let go of? That’s where this method comes in!
You must find a way to “let it go” and still feel love after what happened. It may take time, but knowing that you are no longer being held captive by negative energy is the first step in moving forward with your life.
When you give yourself permission to finally let these situations go, things start to change… fast .
You will notice that unpleasant things don’t seem to happen as often. You will also notice that you are able to enjoy life without having a constant nagging pain in the back of your mind.
You will begin to feel lighter, happier, and more at peace with yourself… all from doing something you thought you couldn’t.
Just because something happened to you, doesn’t mean that it has to be a part of who you are, at least not in a negative way.
So now that you understand how negative energy works, and now that you know how to turn it around, let’s get into the different ways on how to master this process…
The first step of turning negative energy into positive energy is turning your thoughts towards:
1. Fully feel all of your emotions attached to whatever it is you’re trying to let go of. Allow yourself time and space to process and accept whatever you’re feeling.
Acceptance simply means that we have full permission to let go of a situation that we have been holding onto for so long.
It doesn’t matter what someone did to you, or how they made you feel… it’s about understanding that this is not a part of your reality anymore and being okay with it.
Some call this “letting go” or “moving on”.
Many people do not allow themselves to master the “acceptance” part because once they start thinking about the situation, they allow themselves to get triggered all over again.
When you accept that someone else’s negative energy does not belong in your sphere of control, you take back what is yours (your power) and therefore become the victor, rather than the victim.
In order to turn the negative energy around, it’s important to resist those initial feelings of anger, hurt, or sadness. I get it, nobody wants to feel those things, but wouldn’t you rather face them now so that you can finally let them go instead of holding onto them forever and feeling them time and time again?
Whenever you find yourself feeling a strong negative emotion:
- Sit back
- Think about what is triggering you and why
- Allow yourself to feel the pain
- Accept the pain
- Find a way to be friends with that situation, however long that takes you.
2. Let it flow out
Now that you have accepted what happened and that it is no longer a part of your reality, we can master the next step:
This is where we start to understand how important this process really is.
When we don’t let things out and instead push them down (which means they’re still inside of us), they manifest in negative energy in the form of:
- Anxiety and fear (fear is a direct result of past pain because we’re afraid it’s going to happen again)
- Depression (depression, like anger/hatred, also results from holding onto pain)
- Self-sabotage (whenever we don’t let go of things that make us feel bad about ourselves)
They all stem from negative energy that has become stuck inside of us.
So how do we master the art of letting things out?
Whenever you find yourself feeling a strong negative emotion (anger, sadness, or anxiety):
- Cry it out (this allows our body to release any sort of toxins that have built up from holding onto this energy)
- Laugh it out (laughter is a natural stress reliever. When we laugh, our body releases endorphins which make us feel good and happy rather than bad or sad)
- Write about it (writing is a really great way to release pain because not only does it let you express yourself, but it also lets you be creative which makes you feel good)
- Talk about it (talking out your feelings helps to verbalize the pain and therefore helps you accept it, let it go, and understand yourself better)
Once we release this negative energy from ourselves…
That’s when we can finally take a look at ourselves for who we really are, and understand our values.
We have a responsibility to ourselves to not allow anyone else’s negative energy to influence who we are going forward in life. We have the power to change the world around us for the better by using this knowledge to create positive energy in our lives.
3. Forgive those who have hurt you… for real this time.
You must truly forgive those who have done malicious things towards you or others. You can say “I forgive you” as many times as it takes to finally feel the weight lifted off your shoulders. This is important because you are letting go of what someone did to you, not that person.
The “feel the weight lifted off your shoulders” part is key because this means that you have truly let it go. You are feeling that negative energy transform into positive energy.
When we hold onto anger and resentment for too long, only pain comes from it.
Once we’re able to forgive those who have hurt us, we can finally start to turn our negative energy into something positive.
Of course this isn’t easy to do unless you are 100% serious about letting go of the past.
Turning anger and negativity into love is one of the most difficult things to do because it requires us to look at the past in a different light, something you have not done for a long time if ever.
When you are able to turn negative energy into love, it means that the anger is no longer consuming your thoughts and feelings. You can let go of what happened because no amount of pain will change what has already occurred.
The only way to truly “let go” of something is to know that you have thoroughly forgiven the person who hurt you, and have come to a place of love.
If you’re not there yet, that’s okay! Just remember that it will happen eventually if you continue forgive those who have wronged us.
For many people, releasing anger about the past isn’t enough to let go of negative energy. Many feel that it’s necessary to push the negativity out of their lives in order to prevent it from coming back.
This is one of the most important steps in turning anger and hate into love… permanently .
We must remind ourselves constantly that we are no longer victims, this negative situation or person has lost their power over us.
4. Forgive yourself for any mistakes or wrongdoings you’ve made. You are not perfect, and that’s okay.
When we hold onto guilt and shame, all we’re doing is punishing ourselves. The best way to release this negative energy is to simply say (and fully mean), “I forgive myself”.
You may feel that you are not worthy of forgiveness or deserving of happiness, but that’s just your mind playing tricks on you.
We aren’t responsible for what anyone did to us in the past, but we are responsible for our future.
When you forgive yourself completely , it means that you are putting your past behind you, no longer dwelling on what happened, but are now moving forward with positive energy.
Understand that you are not the same person anymore, and your negative feelings about the way you once were are proof of that.
It’s okay if you don’t feel like it’s possible to let go of your guilt or forgive yourself. These kinds of things take time, but eventually your hard work will pay off.
There is always something that we can learn from our mistakes.
Without pain and suffering, how would we truly understand the value of peace? We wouldn’t! Pain is simply an indication that something in our lives needs to shift in order for us to grow.
That’s not to say that you should go out of your way to purposefully cause pain, but it does mean that you need learn from what has happened and use that to fuel you to be better NOW.
As long as you are doing that, using that pain to improve and grow–why would you not forgive those old, lower-vibrating versions of yourself?
It’s time to forgive the past, release that negative energy and free yourself from pain.
When you are able to let go of your mistakes, you will begin to see how far you have come since then . You will start to understand what it means to be truly happy because there is no longer any baggage holding you back.
If you are still struggling with forgiving yourself, remember that you will not be punished for your mistakes if you learn from them.
Pain only hurts the ego temporarily. It won’t last forever because you have everything you need inside of you to heal and become better than who you were before.
5. Practice in every moment
Life presents us many opportunities to practice the art of letting go.
When something unexpected occurs, your first reaction may be to get angry or fed up with whatever is happening in that moment. That’s completely understandable!
We all feel like this sometimes when life is throwing us curveballs. It doesn’t feel good to have our plans changed, and we want everything to go smoothly.
But once you let someone or something else affect your mood or attitude, they’ve taken control of you. They are winning in that moment because you’re the one who is letting them win.
Remember that it’s not necessary for something negative, out of your control, or unexpected to happen in order for you to practice letting go.
You can always choose to let something go rather than dwell on it and make it a bigger issue than what it needs to be.
This is how we grow as human beings. By challenging ourselves and learning from our mistakes. The mark of a truly, genuinely strong individual is one who knows how to let things go easily and naturally without holding onto past feelings or thoughts.
This isn’t about being weak or looking for ways to avoid problems.
It’s about accepting that which cannot be changed, but having the courage to change the things that can.
It’s about understanding that you are not your thoughts, nor is what anyone has said or done to you in the past who still lingers in your mind. You are not your emotions and definitely not your past!
You are on your way!
You are fully capable of processing pain and then letting it go so that you can move forward to a brighter future.
Your past does not define you. You are a new person each and every day, capable of doing great things with your life. The only limitations that exist within yourself are the ones you place upon yourself .
…you opened this blog for a reason.
You wanted to let go of something that is holding you back or weighing you down. You wanted to grow and become a better version of yourself, a stronger person capable of overcoming pain and moving forward with peace, because you knew it is inside of you.
You’ve made it this far because you are on the path towards self-mastery.
Remember that if you ever feel like letting something go isn’t worth it, that there’s nothing to be gained from it, or it feels better to be angry, recognize it as a challenge and a chance to grow. You have some work to do.
There is ALWAYS something to be learned from every situation in your life, no matter how negative or stressful it may seem at the time.
When you can learn from pain and make a conscious effort to let go of what is unnecessary, I promise that everything will start going much smoother for you.
Remember the pain and hurt you’ve been through, but don’t let it define who you are or dictate your life choices. You can choose to be a better person from this moment forward – for yourself and other people in your life.
People make mistakes, it’s part of life. Learn to live with them and not to hate them.
