There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. At the beginning of the relationship, you fall in love with your partner’s personality, but it turns out that you actually have to live with their character. Every beginning is beautiful: long talks, tender hugs, passionate kisses…and lots of SEX. When the relationship is super fresh, you focus on exciting topics, hopes, and dreams. You go out on dates and or even enjoy doing absolutely nothing as long as you’re together. It almost always feels like a perfect fairytale at first. However, the magic disappears sooner or later, and then you face reality: nobody is perfect. At some point, you and your partner are going to hit a rough patch in your relationship.
You realize that your partner has flaws, just like you, and you need to face them. All of us have specific issues, problems, fears, and insecurities, and when we are in a relationship, we have to live with another person’s flaws as well. Some disagreements will inevitably lead to fights. Once you get through the first one, you’re going to hit another one. Arguments are part of every healthy relationship, and you need to decide what to do next.
Dealing with the rough patch is never effortless, it takes work on both ends. The relationship requires negotiations, agreements, sacrifices, adjustments, and compromises on many topics. If you and your partner are connected emotionally, it means you are vulnerable with each other, and there is something to fight for.
Loyalty and commitment are among the most important things for every relationship. If you love your partner, and if your partner loves you, overcoming the rough patch will be much easier. It is important not to let the disagreements make you distant. Instead, focus on everything you have and fight for your relationship.
Sometimes the fights are too intense and serious, and in such a situation, the first thing you should do is take a deep breath. It might be challenging to decide what you should do: reconcile or break up. Take time off and think about everything. Calm down and do not make hasty decisions. Remember that every couple is experiencing problems and if you don’t want to break up, read on about how to get through a rough patch in a relationship.
Communicate
Let me start with a question: Do you speak to one another but do not communicate? According to experts and relationship counselors, lack of communication between partners is the most common mistake. Not talking to your partner after a rough patch just to avoid another argument will lead to frustration and further misunderstandings. You cannot hide your emotions and problems under the rug. If you keep all negative energy inside you, the final result would be a break-up. Ignorance leads to more extensive arguments, dissatisfaction, and lack of trust.
In order to fix what was broken, you need to verbalize your thoughts and feelings. Talk about your concerns; don’t turn on the silent mode, no matter how insignificant and small the issue seems.
In fact, good and open communication about the entire problem will help you handle your emotions better and make everything smooth. When you talk with your partner and tell them what is bothering you, you can find a way to talk things out.
Communicate productively: share everything and listen to your partner. Оne-way communication is fatal for the relationship.
Accepting that you are going through a rough patch with your partner and discussing it without being judgemental is the only possible way to make things work out. Ask your partner about their opinion and emotions and listen to what they say.
If you ignore your problem, they will accumulate over time. Argument after argument, fight after fight, and you will lose track of things. Once you decide to communicate and solve the problem, start with the core of the issues you and your partner have.
At first, it might be a bit difficult to start a conversation, but no matter how challenging it is, talking will strengthen your relationship. If you don’t have an idea about how to start the conversation, ask your partner simple questions about their feelings and thoughts. Think about the answers you want to ask, and don’t waste time: the specific things are the reason for rough patches in your relationship.
Take a timeout
It is undeniable that communication is key to getting through the rough patches with your partner, but it is also important to take a break. Constant communication and discussion about the issues in your relationship can be exhausting and might lead to even more significant differences in opinions. Therefore, take a timeout.
Talking about the problems is important, but once you discuss a major part of the issues, slow down and chill out.
Don’t forget that taking a timeout is not the same thing as taking a break. No, no. The goal is to settle down the emotions and get through the problem. The final goal, of course, is to stay together.
When you get stuck in a period of constant arguing, take a timeout. It would be enough to call your partner in the morning just to hear their voice and text before bedtime to say goodnight. Let your partner do the reflecting on their own. You can focus on your job, finances, going to the gym, or spending more time with friends and family.
Openly discuss with your partner how much time you need to work on yourself. That should not be anything extreme: few days or few months. An overwhelming amount of time may lead to another problem: you may realize that you are comfortable living alone.
Find common ground
Is your relationship rocky because you are not on the same page? When it comes to relationships, both you and your partner are affected, and you need to reach an agreement. However, don’t forget that the agreement should be a compromise, something acceptable to both partners.
Once you start talking about the issues in your relationship, make sure that you and your partner are on the same page. In order to get through the rough patches, it is important to align your point of view. Your relationship will be successful only if you and your partner want the same things from your relationship.
If you have a discussion but are not on the same page, the conversation might turn into another argument. Having a common ground means both partners are moving in the same, not in opposite directions.
Another aspect of finding common ground is to apologize if the rough patch is your fault. A sincere apology can do wonders in your relationship. Sometimes, partners are stuck in a rough patch because one partner is convinced that the other partner made a mistake and has to apologize.
Remember why you’re with your SOULMATE.
Once you face fights and rough patches, partners realize that relationships are not fairytales. That is true, but relationships are based on love, care, trust, and many more beautiful emotions. When you love your partner, you will get through the rough patches much more effortlessly.
Remembering all good things in your relationship will make you feel good: the place you first met; the first date; first kiss; first time you had sex; The first ‘I love you’; first trip together; your first apartment. So many memories you have created together.. is it worth losing all of that just because things got a bit hard?
When you are having fun with your partner and everything is fine, you don’t think about what bad could happen. However, once problems appear, many partners find it difficult to remember the good ol’ times, as if they never happened.
The point in getting through the rough patches in the relationship is to remember everything good about your partner and your relationship. Don’t let the anger cloud your memories. Remember the attraction you feel for your partner, the sparks you had when you first met. All those things were amazing when you both were committed to one another. Such things are not random emotions; that is true love. And true love is worth saving.
Another important part of getting through the rough patches is expressing your feelings. Talk about everything you feel: love, anger, sadness, fears, and desires. A healthy relationship means a powerful connection of emotions. Show your partner you care, understand, and appreciate their effort.
Keep the spark alive.
Endless discussions can be challenging and exhausting. Once you decide to find a way to work it out, stop and take a deep breath.
Constant arguing about all good and bad things in your relationship will make you feel stressed and frustrated. Don’t let that happen. Take a break and do something relaxing. Plan a romantic date, schedule a massage for couples, or book a trip for the weekend. Everyday stress with work, traffic, waiting in line, and getting through a rough patch can be too much, so plan something special for you and your partner. Spend some time together and keep the sparkle alive.
By being alone with your partner, you will have time to remind yourself why you are together and trying to get through the rough patches. There are many reasons, but fights may make you forget about them.
The rituals, such as breakfast, jogging, or bathing, are small but pleasant everyday rituals that will help you reconnect with your partner. Experts explain that rituals are some kind of emotional barometer that allows partners to maintain affection. Simple rituals won’t make you feel pressured about doing them, yet they will make you feel loved. Choose a day and schedule a movie night. Drink the first-morning coffee in your bed or favorite coffee shop.
Spice up your sex life: a healthy relationship includes great sex life. Sometimes the sex gets boring, so try to spice it up. Ask your partner about their fantasies, send sexy text messages, escape from the usual-sex-place.
Bottom line.
No matter how much you love your partner and you want to get through the rough patches, you need to be aware that sometimes there is nothing worth saving. It is essential to realize whether you face a rough patch or are in a toxic relationship. Few red flags will help you decide: disrespect, infidelity, or abuse. No one can fix these actions as they are not a problem that exists in your relationship. This type of behavior is not permissible.
However, if you and your partner had few disagreements, don’t be discouraged and try to work it out with patience and understanding. You cannot solve the rough patches overnight, but these pieces of advice will help you get back on the right track.
